


I will sacrifice for you

by Boozombie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I promise, Lotor is a bastard, M/M, Original Character - Freeform, Some Fluff, but it's at the end, but they aren't to prominent, everyone cries, i'm a bad person, im not sorry, keith is freaking out, lance gets tortured
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 21:39:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10396728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boozombie/pseuds/Boozombie
Summary: He stalled for a second briefly and suddenly a large smile graced his face. I was picked up by my neck and shoved against the wall. I struggled pointlessly but everything hurt and I was basically useless."Who knew paladins could be so pretty" he whispered in my ear and my body froze. Was that a hand feeling me up?! "Do all humans have such deep beautiful eyes?" I stuttered not quite understanding what was happening. wasn't he going to kill me two ticks ago?On a mission to save Shiro Lance is captured by the new ruler of the Golra and Lance doesn't know if it was a blessing or a curse that he found him alluring enough to keep alive.Keith is determined to find Lance. No way in hell do you get to tell him you love him then just up and die





	1. The capture

**Author's Note:**

> I need more Lotor/lance to fill my soul so I had to write this.

The Golra ships hallway was long, confusing, and unbearably dark. Do Golra have night vision or something? They must in order to navigate these dark halls. 

            My bayard was balanced on my forearm as I checked yet another corner. Our source had to be right, Shiro had to be on this ship somewhere. 

           What else could they be taking to the center of the central fleet could be so important to demand this many guards and heavy security. 

"I don't like this" hunk whispered honestly through the comm. probably pacing from where he had been left to guard our exit. 

"This is a simply search and extraction Hunk" Pidge told him calmly from where she was hacking the ship, most likely the control center where I had left her. "We use to do this in the training deck back at the garrison all the time" 

"Ya and Lance usually got us killed in those exercises" hunk rambled "oh god I'm gonna puke" hunk whispered more to himself. 

"Look Allura knows what she is doing if she thinks I'm better as the distraction and Lance should be the one to get Shiro then we have to trust her judgement" Keith hissed acting mature once again. I gritted my teeth in an effort to remain quite and not blow the fact that I had remained unnoticed. 

"Lance is an excellent sharpshooter and can be more stealthy than he seems" Allura raged from the castle probably coving Keith's ass as he was the only lion fighting at the moment. I couldn't help grinning at her praise ". . . probably the blue paladin before was at least and is a key factor in the blue lions personality" so she didn't trust me. Great. 

"Look guys as much as I love hearing you talk im trying to work here!" I hissed a little offended. I knew I was the weakest link in the team, they didn't have to remind me. 

          Everyone here was amazing. Pidge was a basic genius and could hack and figure out anything given the chance, hunk was brilliant with any kind of ship despite his motion sickness plus he was the unofficial chef, Allura is a badass princess that could probably take all four of us in a fight, smart pretty, powerful, not to mention brave, and then there was Keith, my first crush but soon as I realized how far above me he was I began to resent him and his pretty face. Keith basically belonged here in space he was a leader in training and had every ounce of talent I lacked myself. 

Myself in comparison to the rest of the team was pretty much nothing. I know I have good points and after two years in space I myself could see them. But how do you show off how charming and diplomatic you are when all there is, is war?

So for now I'm sneaking. No one knew except Keith but ever since Shiro disappeared I had began to train more. Keith and me had spent hours in the invisible maze, fighting the gladiator, protecting each other in the shooting range. He helped me with my hand to hand combat and I even helped him with his shooting. 

My crush on him didn't help in close moments when we were locked in combat and it took everything in me not to flush as the way his chest heaved and he smiled at me, complemented my improvements. 

Shaking my head I returned to the situation. Soon we would have Shiro back and everything would be back to normal. 

"Lance I've located the prison on the grid just take two lefts and straight" Pidge told me calmly. I nodded my head and began making my first left. 

Two lefts "guys something's wrong, something's kicking me out of the system" Pidge yelled suddenly panicked. I hesitated for a moment but continued, if we've been caught it doesn't matter I'm too close to fail. 

"Pidge what's happening?!" Allure yelled concern in her voice.  

And straight. . . "THIS IS A TRAP" Pidge screamed. A metal wall suddenly blocked the passage behind me, I couldn't get back the way I had come. "Lance get back here now!"

"Pidge I've been blocked in I can't" I snapped feeling frustrated and angry at myself for not stopping when I had the chance "I'm just gonna have to go the only way I can"

"The system is complexly locked or else I could do something" Pidge sounded frantic.  

"Just get back to hunk I'll find a way out" I told her not wanting her to stay where they knew she was. 

"She isn't gonna leave you Lance" Keith yelled and I sighed as hunk and Pidge agreed adamantly. 

"It's not leaving me it's just retreating to a safe place to wait for me!" I growled starting my trip down the dark hallway once again "now go Pidge!" 

"Fine but we aren't leaving until you get back to the yellow lion" I could almost pictures her annoyed face, pitched in the way it does when something doesn't go her way. 

"I'll be there soon!" I grinned as I shot at three guards that came running at me from down the hall. 

Everyone became background noise as I concentrated on not getting cornered. Something was squeezing my heart and I just knew I had to get back as quickly as I could. 

"Lance I'm back in the yellow lion" Pidge told me over the comm. I breathed a sigh of relief and immediately bit back a scream as I was hit right in the shoulder. 

"Hurry back Lance!" Keith yelled worry evident in his voice. I slide across the floor my back slamming against the wall as I turned for cover immediately. 

"I'm trying dude!" I yelled. the guards were getting hard to handle, I could duck and dodge down these twisting hallways forever and I only ever came back to the same hallway. I had no way to go. Shit well just great, I guess down the trap hallway I go.

The Golra seemed to thin out and if that didn't just scream trap I don't know what else did. The hallway opened up to a large room that looked as if it had been a lounge before the thirty or so Golra had rearranged all the furniture to circle the entrance of the room guns and swords ready. 

"Guys I might be late for dinner" I tried to joke as everyone started yelling at me to explain. I didn't have time. The Golra came at me shooting and swinging, I had to defend. 

Kicking the first Golra to reach me he flew back knocking down three behind him, I turned and blocked a sword coming straight at my head with my shield, before he could pull away I punched my bayard into his open stomach and fired. One down 29 to go. 

I was suddenly grabbed in my wounded shoulder and I couldn't help crying out as I was thrown to the other side of the room. Great now I could get some space. 

"LANCE! Buddy I'm coming to help you right now!" Hunk yelled and I could hear pidge agreeing in the back ground 

I went with the momentum of my body rolling and managed to catch my feet, jumping up to face my enemies "NO!" I yelled into the comm. my breath harsh and tired "dude I'm surrounded but at least thirty you aren't going to change anything" my voice may have been a little too resigned. 

No one talked for a long moment before allura suddenly asked "you have no escape do you?" Her voice shook. 

I punched one of the soldiers that came running at me before shield bashing another "ya" I whispered trying to keep my voice light "I'm sorry guys" I shot at three behind me, only landing one non-fatal hit "I wish I was better, I know I'm a shit paladin and I'm replaceable but thank you for flying with me" I was shot in my leg and I bit back a scream and remained standing no matter how much it hurt. 

"Lance stop talking like your about to die!" Kieth yelled, for now ignoring the realization that Lance didn't think he was as good as the rest "were coming to get you!"

I was encircled again my breathing harsh and uneven my back against a wall. There was wounds all over me and I could barely stand. 

"Alright men step back" a dark voice purred the twenty Golra soldiers stepped back to let a large figure through. My blurring vision cleared as I focused on him. 

He was Golra alright but looked to be a little of something else. His skin was a lavender color while he had long white hair cascading down his shoulders, the hair was held back by small braids on each side of his head showing off his sharp face, pointed ears, and glowing yellow eyes. His face had two vertical scar like marking over his eyes that seemed to glow a blood red color. He wore a typical soldiers uniform but seemed to be different some how, more fancy as if he had just a bit more command. 

I chuckled "come to finish up now that I've been cornered? Oh how scary you must be" I didn't know who this guy was but I was gonna let this guy intimidate me. 

"The Golra ships are too thick I can't get it!" Kieth yelled over the comm. as hunk yelled about soldiers now flooding there way in. 

The Golra in front of my smirked "oh little paladin your wit is amazing but it's time for you to say your goodbyes" 

"Lance what's happening!? Please answer us"  
I pushed myself from the wall I was supporting myself with and ran at the Golra. This time this fight was one on one. 

"Hunk" I yelled slashing at the Golra with my shield trying to knock him off balance, before firing my bayard he only laughed as he dodged easily "get Pidge out of here" I yelled

I was met with a chorus of defiance from everyone and I ground my teeth "hunk remember back at the garrison" I kicked at him hoping to knock him off balance but only successful in knocking myself back I went with the sliding motion as I fired "when we all failed that lost cause simulation? One of the team get captured and you were suppose to leave them behind for the good of the team" I jumped up and ran in a large circle trying to create some distance. "Buddy we all died in that simulator. I can't go on living if I know you died for me, please take pidge and FUCKING GO!" A sword slashed into my side and I screamed. 

"Lance no way in hell am I leaving y-HUNK PUT ME DOWN!" I smiled knowing hunk was doing exactly what I told him. We had made a promise after all. 

"Pidge hunk you guys are like family to me I'm sorry I was only ever annoying and useless" there was no way out I was simply trying to say my goodbyes and the Golra in front of me had no problems with toying with me until I finished "you two are geniuses and I'm so damn happy this was me and not one of you" everyone tried to say something but I was blocking them out until I was done. 

"Allura you are like a big sister to me, I'm sorry I'm not as good as the last blue paladin" she tried to protest but I kept going "coran thank you for being the one to listen to me whenever I got homesick, you always cheered me up" 

I was thrown to the ground my helmet flying off I reached for it desperately, tears in the corner of my eyes at the thought of Keith never getting to hear my last goodbye. I turned to the strange Golra, my eyes swirling full of emotion as I glared at him from the ground. 

He stalled for a second briefly and suddenly a large smile graced his face. I was picked up by my neck and shoved against the wall. I struggled pointlessly but everything hurt and I was basically useless. 

"Who knew paladins could be so pretty" he whispered in my ear and my body froze. Was that a hand feeling me up?! "Do all humans have such deep beautiful eyes?" I stuttered not quite understanding what was happening. wasn't he going to kill me two ticks ago? 

"Get off me you bastard!" I screamed and suddenly my world lurched to the side and my face stung. Did he just quiznacking slap me? 

He smiled as my shocked look and locked a tear I didn't realize had fallen down my cheek. "Bring me his helmet" he suddenly yelled. 

The helmet was suddenly placed in his hand and held close to me. I could hear my team shouting for me. "Finish blue paladin, say goodbye to the life you knew" he smirked at me and silenced the screaming over the comm. with just a few words "paladins of voltron and my dear princess allura my name is lotor and I am heir to the Golra empire. I have decided to keep the blue paladin so please listen to his final words to you all." 

It was deathly quite and I wheezed out as he dropped me and the helmet. I landed on my knees and I grabbed at the helmet and held it like my last lifeline. "Go on pretty" 

I refused to cry anymore so I began "allura move the castle and get out of here! Please do this for me, right now there is no way I'm getting out of this so please, please just run" 

"Lance" allura cried and I thought I heard a sob. Yes she would cry but I knew they would find someone better to pilot blue. "I think of you all as my family, thank you for that guys" 

After a silent moment I took a breath "Keith" I whispered knowing this one was going to hurt me. 

"Ya dude I'm here" did his voice just crack?

"Back the garrison the very first time I was you I thought you were the most beautiful damn boy I every saw, I tried to flirt with you but you always thought I was picking on you and then I hated you for always being better than me but I've realized in this time being with you as a paladin that Keith" I looking up around me and lotor seemed to be mixed between victory and fury "Keith I'm in love with you" with that my head was grabbed by my hair and someone punched me hard, the last thing I saw was lotor's smiling face as I past out.


	2. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wakes up to find he is in deep shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This capture was actually kinda hard for me too Get the ball rolling on.

I woke slowly a grown leaving my lips knowing instantly my situation. I didn't waste time on confusion just simply began taking stock of my surroundings. 

I was in a small slightly glowing purple room. What is with aliens and making everything glow? 

My head felt heavy and my eyes were fuzzy, my arms were bound above me against a wall. My legs were bound too by some weird purple energy. I could only assume my arms were restricted by the same alien technology. 

The worst of all, I'm quiznacking freezing! I'm surprised it wasn't snowing with how my body shivered. Looking down I realized I had been striped of both my armor and the thin under suit. I am left with only boxers. 

Great not only am I captured but I'm captured and wearing embarrassing heart shapes on my underwear. It probably gave who ever undressed me a laugh.

The room was small and there was only, what I assume to be a control podium to the left of me and a door directly in front of my strung up body. 

Good I have the layout down now for me. I hurt everywhere. My body was in shambles, there is a hole in my thigh and shoulder, slashes all over me. most concerning is the side of my stomach. Every twitch made thick blood run down my hip. 

I bet you my face was no better, I could feel a cut over my right eyebrow and over my chin. I could feel the bruising at every muscle movement of my face. 

How am I even alive? What did this lotor guy want with me? 

I've decided to keep the blue paladin

His voice ran thrown my head and my body shuddered. The way he looked at me was beyond the look I'd give a cute girl I wanted to flirt with. It was even beyond the pining looks I give Keith. This was full blown possession. 

I'm scared. 

I sat there stewing in my emotion for what seemed like hours before the door slid open. Looks like the party is starting. 

One of those creepy mask dudes walked in first. I don't know what they do but they were powerful and a quiznack to fight. My body instantly tense. 

Prince asswipe walked in behind him, smug satisfaction on his face the moment he looks in my direction. I glare, concentrating all of my frustration and hatred on to him. 

A predatory smile grew on his face like I am just prey he couldn't wait to devour. 

"Good you are awake" his voice was deep and smooth. My mind stalled at the fear that rushed through me. Gods I can't do this. I'm not Shiro or Keith, I'm not strong like anyone else on my team. 

He turned to the mask dude "start" he ordered curt and demanding as if he owned the world. 

The intimidating monster in front of me watched with an amazing smirk as I steeled myself not prepared to let him know how afraid I was. The mask dude raised his arms and a dark purple light shot at me. 

I screamed, it was like I was being set afire from within as I was stuck by lighting. 

The asshole simply watches me as if this is A-class entertainment! I expected questions, an interrogation but nothing. The mask dude just kept shooting me with his magic for a few ticks before giving me a break. 

After the fifth time I couldn't feel the bruises on my face I realized. The slash on my side seems smaller too. The hole in my thigh was closed, still a terrible wound but it was closed. 

"Looks like you noticed" lotor was suddenly pressed against me, flush against my body. feeling nothing but revolting hatred, I hissed at him. Ya that's right I hissed at the evil alien space furry. 

Fuck this guy 

"Oh you fight now but I'll break you, I even asked for the most painful healing process available for my little wild cat" he stepped back as another wave of dark magic hit me, this time I gritted my teeth against the pain. It left me panting and wheezing "don't worry pretty we shall domesticate you" he smiled and nodded to the mask dude to continue. 

By the time they were throw "healing" me I'm close to sobbing at the tired screaming my body was doing. 

"See that wasn't so bad" he purred at me, petting my check lovingly. Using all my strength I pushed my head up and away from his hand and spat at him. 

Grinning, blood on my teeth I whispered in a harsh winded tone "next time try a little harder, I barely felt a thing" 

His eyes widened a fraction before pure amusement filled his eyes. 

He brushes off the bloody spit with a deep chuckle and looked up at me with malice "oh don't worry my pet we are just getting started."

\----------------------------------

Keith I'm in love with you

How dare he? I thought pacing my hands bundled into fists. My knuckles were bleeding from the twelve or so walls I had taken my anger out on. 

How fucking dare he tell me that only on the verge of death. How the hell am I suppose to pick you up in my arms and love you the way I had always dreamed of, if you only tell me in deadly situations?!

Those blue eyes haunted me for four god damn years and now he tells me? 

That quiznack! That fucking quiznack! How dare he get captured and then tell me that!

Keith I'm in love with you

Please come back. I found myself on my knees in the control room. I had been so caught up in my angry thoughts I don't notice I had apparently drew the attention of the whole room. 

"We will get him back" I said to other four in the room "we have to, I need to punch that annoying beautiful face" then probably kiss it. 

Looking around I saw the state of everyone. Pidge had tears in her eyes barely holding them back, trying to be strong. Hunk was flat out sobbing into his hands. allura looked for all the world as if the universe was unraveling around her. Coran was just plain silent, and coran was never silent. 

"He thinks he's useless" hunk suddenly whispered his voice shaky and strangely my calm. "He thinks, we think he can't do anything right, i'm his best friend I should have realized he was hurting and done something! But I didn't and I'll never be able to live with myself" he paused his hands shaking. 

"This is all my fault" hunk cried harder, deep gut wrenching sobs. 

"No it's mine!" Pidge shouted "If only I was everything lance thinks of me I could have opened a path for him!" Pidge screamed hot tears finally rolling down her face. 

Why didn't you ever tell him you loved him? 

This was my fault. If only I had told him how amazing he was then maybe he wouldn't have given up, maybe if he knew how irreplaceable he was to everyone he would have let us save him. 

We are a team we risk our lives for each other so why does is it only ever him? Why is he always the one to get hurt. Every time something happened he was hurt saving one of us. Just why couldn't I be as good as a protector as him. God damn it. 

I punched another wall, the room was silent for a whole five ticks before Allura finally spoke. 

"I don't know why he fells this way, and this is no time to assign blame, we can do that later" she looked around at us from red tinted eyes "after we get him back" 

I'm coming for you, and you better be prepared, because I'm never letting you go.


	3. Floating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finds out something new about lance and Keith bonds with someone unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Lancelot or klance moments in this chapter sorry

I had so much to do. Waking in the middle of the night had become a norm to me since Shiro disappeared. I had to check on Pidge and make sure she was sleeping and not up obsessing over some tracker to find Shiro. 

I had to check to make sure Allura wasn't having a nightmare and wake her with something warm if she was, talking to her, telling her stories until she fell into a calmer sleep. I had to check on Keith's late night training session and begin the long hour of convincing him that, yes you are tired you should go to bed. Finally I had to make sure hunk wasn't anxiously baking, he will need a quite listener to his babbling while he works what ever has him upset out of his system, before I'll walk him to his room some warm milk to settle his stomach. I truly had a lot to do. 

It was the only thing I could do. 

For some reason my body felt heavy and sluggish and all I wanted to do was lay on my back and think. 

The push and pull of the water throw my finger tips. I could smell garlic knots from the stand on the beach. My freshly waxed board bobbing gently as I gazed at the sky. 

This was the feeling of sitting in the ocean. I was floating, not a care in the world. For a moment I can almost pretend I'm back on earth. 

A big swell was coming, I knew from the feel of the water. I always felt at home in the water, I never felt tired or scared just at peace. My mom would sit under the umbrella on the sand my new little sister in her arms while the twins played. Eventually I'd sit up and wait. Stare at the endless horizon as I await my wave. The ocean always told me when it was coming. 

This is my wave. 

Something was missing. Something I had never not felt. The longer I sat the longer I felt in pull away from me. No gentle whisping of the ocean, no feeling of being at peace, I had to get up and make sure the useful people were at their best. 

Opening my eyes my stomach sunk. I was in a small cell on a Golra ship. Well shit. There are shackles on my wrists keeping them together, same with my ankles. Well at least I'm not bleeding out anymore. 

I wish I could close my eyes and go back to floating but the feeling I had never lived without was leaving. Weather I was in the bath, a pool, playing with my siblings, the ocean, flying, teasing Keith, or cracking joke at the garrison, I had never out felt that calming sense that I had someone who cared. 

Where did that come from? Why had I always felt unafraid and not alone? Breathing a sigh that turned into a cough I let the thought go. I just had to adjust to this new empty feeling. 

No one was in the cell with me, and I frowned. Every time we freed prisoners there had to be at least ten in every cell. Why was i always left alone?  

I grew up in a big family, being the middle child of seven kids made being apart of voltron pretty simple. 

Get up two hours early and feed the baby so mom can sleep in. Make dad and my six sibling their lunch for school and work. Sit and watch a cartoon with Kira, milo and Sydney before walking them to preschool a block away and dropping Sydney off at her daycare. Walk back too wake the other three. My older siblings would be snippy for a little so make them something to eat along with mom for when she wakes before work. Walk to the high school only a mile away making sure terra, Brayden, and Jordan get to their first class. Before catching the bus to pilot school. I was always late. 

Some people actually had too work to be here. 

Well I saw this cute girl I had to stop. 

It was hard leaving to the garrison but mother assured me they could survive without me. Of course they could though, all of them did amazing things even Sydney was already walking. 

All I was ever good for was making sure the strong had the support they needed. Terra needed someone to practice lines with and sometimes needed someone to brag to strangers about her while she was close enough to hear so she didn't lose confidence before a big play. 

Jordan needed to be able let out his frustrations on someone when a music piece wasn't turning out right. Normally in the form of a wrestling match. 

Brayden needed someone to listen how his day went so he knew he was important while sparring. He was pretty amazing at Taekwondo and always need a partner when he got home. 

Kira and milo needed a playmate after I picked them up so they didn't wear mom out with there energy when she got home. Mom always needed a break so I'd make dinner.

I made sure to tease and be annoying enough that no one got into fights so they were all happy. 

My space family wasn't all that different. I already knew what hunk needed from the Garrison. He needed someone to push him to do crazy stuff so his anxieties didn't eat at him, it was better if he was mad at me and not himself. 

Pidge needed someone to geek out to that was stupid, so she could feel like she wasn't failing. 

Keith needed a buffer so he didn't get into fights with the others, someone to hate so he wouldn't hate anything about himself. 

Allura needed someone to worry about and be frustrated with so she didn't think of herself as a princess that had lost her people. Coran need someone to keep him cheery to talk about the old days with. 

Finally Shiro needed to feel important and like he was making a difference so I let him think I didn't already know how to fight. Sadly I wasn't good enough to keep him safe. Just like my family they all needed a target to keep them from hurting each other. 

I had always been good at reading people. Of course I had known Pidge was a girl but they all needed someone to be the idiot so she didn't feel awkward in that tense situation. 

Keith needed someone to not give a crap that he was part Golra. Honestly it didn't matter but someone had to act normal and that nothing had changed because of the knowledge. 

This was the only thing I could do. Make them their best. I was weak and useless it was the least I could do. 

The pull in my chest felt tighter it was at its limits and I suddenly can't breath. Oh shit am I having a panic attack? 

Something snapped, it's Audible inside my head. Like a life long bond, a band that always connected me to something just suddenly couldn't take the distance and broke. 

I screamed a sharp pain in my head and a crushing heaviness in my chest. I rolled and spasmed. What in the quiznack is happening? 

\----------------------------

Blue was rampaging. 

Everyone was restless and couldn't sleep. We had all been in the control room for hours trying to figure out where lance could have been taken. 

We all had sat up straighter when we had heard the roar. MY CUB!   
Looking around it was apparent we had all heard the roar from blue. 

We all bolted for blues hanger, no one could get there fast enough when we heard the pounding, as if something was trying to break out. 

I had seen red move by himself enough to know the lions had some form of sentience, but this was crazy. 

Blue was running back and forth as if she was in pain, rolling and thrashing against the hanger door trying to get out.   
WHERE IS MY CUB?! I DON'T FEEL HIM! WHERE IS HE!

She was screaming and for the first time since lance touched that cave wall I could hear blue in my head. Everyone flinched and I realized that everyone could hear her. 

Back on earth she had pulled me too her, to the desert I had always thought that it was possible she could've chosen me if she hadn't liked lance more. 

I wasn't so sure anymore, too see this made it obvious her and lance were closer than we thought. 

Allura seemed deep in thought before I snapped at her "do something!" It seemed to knock her out of her shock. 

"The blue lion has never acted like this before" she seemed baffled and a touch afraid. "We need to somehow calm her" she Shook her head, not knowing how to deal with this situation. 

GIVE ME BACK MY CUB! 

All of us winced "I've never heard of a connection like this" coran yelled "it's like the blue lion adopted lance in some way" 

I looked to Pidge and hunk both of them were shocked as well. 

"Lance couldn't even sense blue when we got near her on earth, I thought they had the weakest connection" Pidge admitted guiltily 

Something clicked in my head. "Maybe because he had never not felt the blue lion?" I asked quietly and everyone stared at me with wide ranges of shock. 

"If that's true then the blue lion would think of lance like a-" My cub she finished for hunk, sounding heart broken and terrified. 

. . . Please. . .   She whimpered falling on the ground. 

I had enough running to her on instinct, helped by red crying in my mind to help her. I stood in front of her for a moment not knowing what to do, before I gently placed a firm hand on her nose. 

"I know you're upset blue, I am too" I felt tears at the corner of my eyes but by god I was not going to cry, I had to be as strong as lance right now "but this isn't helping, I promise you we will find him" her eyes glinted and her body stopped shaking and I put my arms around her and fell to my knees "I miss him too"  

I felt something clinked in my head and I knew blue had made a connection with me. Suddenly I knew what being a paladin was all about, it wasn't just my lion and me, it was my teammates, all the lions and me. All of us were connected. 

"We should let her rest, Keith . . . everyone, we should discuss what just happened." Allura ushered us back her mind a whirl at this new discovery. 

They didn't know anything about lance. 

"What's lance's favorite color?" Allura suddenly asked a strange emotion in her eyes as we walked back to the control deck. 

I had no idea I alway thought it was " blue" Pidge answered hesitantly finishing my thought. 

"It's red" hunk corrected confidently "the same color as the flower his mom use grows outside his window" 

They really didn't have a clue about him.


	4. Seven days with a prince: day one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the team is falling apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love the potential for Lotor to be an amazing villain capable of just wreaking Voltron

Allura was biting her thumb nail as we all stood in the control room ten hours after lance was taken. 

"How could lance have always felt a connection to blue" Pidge asked. Blues rampage still fresh in all of our minds. 

"Blue was on earth" I whispered, emotions I had never dare show the team bubbling just under the surface. "Maybe she had always chosen him?" 

"Lance always did seem to have more confidence then normal" hunk said "when we met it was almost like he had someone behind him, encouraging him, even when everything was too much" hunk seemed somber and his eyes didn't seem alive anymore. 

"I never even tried to get to know him at the Garrison" Pidge whispered her voice dark "I always just thought he was an idiot that didn't really care about anything" she seemed baffled and internally upset. "He was always keeping me out of trouble and I never even tried" 

"He tried harder then anyone else he just didn't like people to see but" hunk whispered again taking a moment to process "he just wanted to take care of everyone" 

I didn't say anything, lance would have said something. Anything, he would have made everyone groan, or chuckle or even gently coaxed us all to get some sleep. Just like when Shiro disappeared. 

"We should all get some sleep, we can track down the group that told us about that ship and find lance, after everyone is rested" coran broke the silence. No one wanted to sleep, no one wanted to stop worrying and searching until lance was safe, but we all knew what Coran was saying was right. 

\---------------------------------

Day one

I passed out from pain apparently. My chest still felt heavy and my heart was unbearably, truly empty. 

I didnt know how long I had been in this cell, but I was starting to feel restless, anxious, and hungry. I waited for vargas still before I heard footsteps. 

The cell door opened and lotor the ultimate quiznack glided in. He walked with confidence and grace, a crooked smirk in his face. 

"Well hello my pretty" he purred only succeeding in intensifying my glare. "I trust you like your accommodations?" He didn't wait for me to answer just simply continued "good good now we can chat" 

I tensed at the idea of what chatting could be to someone that "healed" like that. 

He crouched down at my level, balancing on the balls of his feet "by the way I do so love the under wear" he told me slowly his eyes roaming my exposed body "I thought them so cute I had them leave them on"

Suddenly I'm glad I put this on. I shivered at the idea of being completely exposed to a man like this. 

"Hey perv my eyes are up here" I jeered in my most annoying tone, perfected from year of teasing my siblings. 

"That mouth is going to get you in trouble little paladin" his voice calm and a creepy smile in place as he rests his head against his palm, arm propped up on his knee. 

"Bring it" I challenged. I could take more pain, I could handle question-less torture, you can't give in if they don't ask for something right? Well I was wrong, he didn't torture me, that would've been preferable. 

Before the words had even fully left my mouth he pounced. My abused body was shoved against the cell wall with him draped over me, his knees on either side of my hips. His clothed chest pressed against my naked one. His hand in my hair as he pressed his lips against my firmly closed mouth. 

Fuck 

Dear god please just kill me now. Growling against my mouth he bit my lip, hard. I gasped in pain and he tried to slip inside my mouth. Unwilling to let this asshole steal a kiss from me I fought to close it again. I thrashed my body, desperately tugging on my trapped wrists, I bit at the tongue invader but before I could draw blood his other hand gripped my jaw and he dug his thumb into my cheek forcing me to open my mouth to avoid pain. 

I could feel tears in my eyes as he moaned into the forced kiss but I blinked them away and hoped if I simply remained unresponsive he would stop. 

He gripped my hair harder causing me to wince before he moved from my mouth to my neck. "That mouth" he mused "as I thought isn't only good for bad mouthing" 

I shuddered as he licked up my neck his alien tongue like silk against my skin. He pulled away and stood, licking his lips as he watched me with a hungry stare. 

"Yet we shall have to work on your response next time" I feel as if there is a black hole in my stomach right now "I can't be bruising that pretty face every time I wish too pet my little paladin can I?" He smirked at my fearful expression. 

He turned from me then, already having won of the battle of the day. He walked to the cell door and turned blowing me a kiss before the cell door shut once again. 

I scrambled to push myself into a corner my knees against my chest. 

I have only one question. Next time?

\--------------------------------

When morning came every one came to the table slowly. No one said anything as we sat down, no one mentioned the ridiculous amount of baked goods or hunks clearly exhausted face. One things became clear immediately upon sitting down, when Pidge and Allura had instinctually reached for the warm honey milk that always sat on the table in the morning, it wasn't there. 

The honey milk had been something they all found comfort in when waking. None of us had ever questioned the slightly green milk, probably from some space goo who ever made it got to taste like honey, that was on the table every morning. 

Allura stared at the empty place for a full thirty ticks, her hand outstretched to grab for the non existent jug, before her eyes looked up. I caught her eyes and I almost broke at the lost look in her eyes. 

None of us ate breakfast, just all slowly stood and left in different directions. 

___________________


	5. Day two: part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So where I wrote this I had a lot of parts that were italic or bold to show flashbacks or when the lions were talking now I'm slightly disappointed that transferring my work over doesn't keep those parts

Pilot school was easy. It was better than every foster home I ever lived in, it was easier to deal with then anything else in my life. I had to work hard though. I had a scholarship to maintain, I had to be the best at everything. 

Class was starting and yet again that idiot wasn't here. Five minutes after class began he burst through the doors, slightly less late than normal. 

"McLain! Why are you always late for my class?!" Our instructor yelled getting in his face "I have half a mind to kick you out"

Good. That kid was nothing but a nuisance. 

"Sorry teach but the hero always needs to be fashionably late" he smirked. 

The teachers face went red as he screamed at lance to get out and not be late tomorrow. We had a test today, it determined what class you'd be in at the garrison. Looks like he would be a cargo pilot. 

" where's lance!" I screamed in the green aliens face, shoving him against the wall, my skin slightly purple in my anger. 

"Keith!" Allura yelled, after a full 24 Vargas without lance's calming tone I was barely keeping it together. 

The alien that looked almost like some huge bird with no feathers paled and began to stutter "P-please . . . We di-didn't know i-it was a trap" I growled my eyes glowing purple again. 

"Dude calm down!" Hunk yanked me back his voice was strained. 

"Now that no one is going to attack each other" Allura looked at me with annoyance "please tell us where you found out about that transport ship" the alien seemed hesitant and unwilling to answer so Allura continued "please sir they took a member of voltron and worse yet a member of our family" 

We had spent the last six Vargas trying to track down the alien group that had given us the info on the transport ship. I couldn't hold my anger when the green alien had looked at us with broken hearted guilt upon finding him in the empty bar on planet Soriba. 

He seemed to fight with himself for a moment before he whispered "they have mine as well" he look up at Allura as she lurched back at the realization that they truly couldn't trust anyone "it was you or my precious children would be put in a gladiator fight" his eyes hardened and his voice grew cold and he stared down at us "don't you dare tell me you wouldn't have done the same" 

I lunged at him, pushing past Allura I grabbed the alien by his shirt and slammed him against the wall my fist raised to hit him. No one tried to stop me. 

I stopped my fist so close to its mark but I simply couldn't hit him I would give anything up to save my family I was no better. 

"I'm just like you" I whispered "I would destroy galaxies to keep the ones I love safe" I was crying, after 24 Vargas I finally let the tears out "but lance" I sobbed "he was better than us, he gave a piece of himself to everyone that needed it, he didn't care. He would never give anyone up to save another, he would somehow sacrifice himself instead" 

The green alien said nothing as we all walked away. 

"Boy" we all turned to the man who seemed to appear on the other side of the bar like magic. 

I knew that blade anywhere. He threw something to me, a small microchip and then left, wasting no time with questions, that's how the blade is, I turned to Pidge and placed the microchip in her hands "Hurry and find him" 

___________________

 

The call door opened and I was thrown over a shoulder before I could fully take in the situation. 

"What in the quiznack?!" Pounding on the guards back with my shackled hands. He bounced me causing his shoulder to punch into my stomach. I wheezed out "be quite karfa"  well that was a new alien word.

He walked me down a laughable amount of hallways before he opened a door and simply dropped me on the floor.

"The prince will expect him dressed and delivered to the dinner room in one Varga" with that he was gone the door sliding closed behind me. 

"Asshole!" I shouted glaring at the door for a hot second. 

"Lance?" A slightly familiar voice questioned. I turned to the speaker as I took in my surroundings. The room was large, the center of the held a large circular platform with three mirror around the far side. Several couches were set up against the wall, perfectly positioned to watch whatever stood on the platform. There was a open doorway behind the mirrors that were blocked by sheer lavender curtains. 

Three aliens stood in the room. The first was a sentry, the second a green bird like alien that looked a lot like the group leader that started this whole shit show. The last was someone I recognized. 

"Nyma?" Is this where they had gone? We had circled back after saving shay and her people but they had been gone by then, ship and all. We had assumed they had somehow fixed their ship or something but no the Golra must have traced them down and captured them. 

For a big scary, killer society they sure take a lot of prisoners. Quiznack did this race just run entirely on conquest, gladiator fights, and slaves? It's like the Roman Empire space edition. 

"You're the karfa the prince is so obsessed with?!" She seemed baffled and before I could say a thing the other alien spoke up. 

"Nyma you can worry over your questions later, for now we have orders and you know the punishment if we don't complete them" Nyma's face fell and she whispered "Rolo" before determination came to her and she clapped her hands "alright alright into the bathroom pretty boy!" She grabbed my hands forcing to to look down and notice my hands and feet are no longer bound. The shackles were still there but whatever emery kept them together had been turned off without me noticing. 

"Hey hey I know I'm a looker but I'm not getting naked no matter how pretty you are" I tried to joke and Nyma was having none of it as she lead me behind the lavender curtain. 

"Ya joke as much as you want but if you don't hurry we are the ones that get punished" she snapped and I took her in more closely. She had bags under her eyes and seemed to have bruising everywhere, she wore a plain purple tunic and black shoes. Cuffs were clamped over her wrists and I knew that at any moment they could be turned on to create intergalactic handcuffs. 

"Okay I get it just calm down" this wasn't the time for joking, looking to the other alien who looked much the same. 

The room they pulled me into was completely white, a long bathtub filled with steaming water filled the room with fog. Nyma pointed to the water a clear order to shred my last piece of dignity and get in. 

Doing so I sat in the water and began to wash down my body, which was covered in sweat and grime. "What does karfa mean?" I asked quietly. 

The green alien paused, what I would guess was soup in her hands as she reached for my hair, she decided not to answer. Simply started washing my hair. 

Nyma handed me some oily soup that smelled sweet and picked at a towel in her lap "it has two meanings, altean and Golran" she told me quietly "in altean it means a soul bond, a lover you can trust everything with" 

"And in Golran?" I was almost afraid to ask. 

"Whore" the green alien stated sadly. 

No one talked for the rest of the bath. 

 

___________________

 

They dressed me in black. I stood on top of the little stage as they dried my hair and dressed me.

My hair had grown a bit and curled around my face slightly, only an inch or so longer then how I liked it.

I did a little twirl when I had the silly outfit on. An Egyptian style skirt that flowed to the ground in silky softness. I tight black shirt that stretched over my defined muscles over my chest stopping just before my ribs, the sleeves flared out and draped down to mingle with the skirt. The material split so my arms were clearly visible. The cuffs on my wrist were still there. 

"Okay your ready and we still have a few do ashes before we should start to the dinner hall" Nyma seemed pretty pleased with herself "you don't actually look to bad" she grinned 

Ya for a whore 

"Don't I? I'm bit surprised" I flipped my non existent long hair like one of the mean girls "I've always been beautiful" Nyma giggled and I smiled softly as even sora stopped looking so depressed. 

This was what I was good at. I'm a fool, why not use it for good? 

I had already told Nyma and Sora how I ended up in this little situation. Nyma explained out apparently the Golra had sent a ship the second they ended their call with them, lucky for her they weren't going to put Rolo into the gladiator ring as long as she corroborated. 

Sora explained that prince lotor had held a little power before voltron had beaten Zarkon. Lotor had been sent as far away as possible because his father didn't care for being a parent. Despit all that he was feared all over the galaxy as a brilliant strategist that could win wars in hours. 

"Lance it's time to go" Sora told me sadly. Over the last Varga I had gotten to know both her and Nyma better. I had to get them out somehow. 

The sentry that had remained quite up until now took my arm and turned on my wrist cuffs. My hands were instantly chain together again. He began to drag me out of the room. 

"Wait!" Nyma ran to me and crushed me into a tight hug "don't do anything stupid lance, just do whatever he says and come back safe okay?" I smirked at her. 

"Falling for me huh?" She grinned at my jest before I called to her once the sentry started moving again "don't worry honey when have I ever done something stupid?" 

The doors shut and I began the barefoot trek to this before mentioned dinning hall. My stomach rumbled at the thought. 

Looking down at myself I frowned, fear gripping my empty heart once I again alone with my thoughts. 

I even look like a karfa now


	6. Day two: part two

The dinning hall was huge, large windows on on all around over looked space. There was a planet to the left of the ship, it was very pink. 

A long table sat in the center of the room, Lotor sat at the head facing me when I made my entrance. 

"How unimaginative" I gesture to the room around us and myself in general "what now? you gonna tell me how I'm the weakest link of voltron so I should just give into you?" I smirked at him "too bad I already know that" 

Lotor didn't say a thing only continued to look over some paper work at the table. "Sit him down here" he grunted to the sentry. 

I was seated at the left of lotor. The cuffs were immediately locked to the sides of the chair. Well this feels familiar. 

I smiled a little at the reminded of how Allura tricked us to bond as a team back when we still couldn't form voltron. 

We sat in silence for a long moment, lotor not even looking at me completely taken up by his work. 

Trying to catch a glimpse of what he was so immersed in, I saw that it was stats and descriptions of every battle voltron had ever fought, it even had our mall trips. 

"You seem to do the most idiotic things in these battles" he hadn't looked up at me, just stated his observations "yet a lot of them seem to save the day" 

"I fear I might have seriously laid waste to an impressive enemy by removing you" he finally looked at me, I was a little shocked by the turn in conversation "by all regrades you are a terrible pilot, yet everything you do works" he pushed a small screen over to me that seemed to be in a loop of recordings of my flying "you do things no pilot would ever dare because they are trained to know their limits, yet you put your full trust in your machine and yourself" 

You are the worst pilot ever

"Truly you are an amazing pilot, not a single thought that you can't do what you've set yourself up for" he smiled at me pushed over a printed form of my stats from the garrison. How did he even get that?

"It's a shame you've only just gotten a machine that could keep up with you" what was he saying I was a terrible pilot, did he get me and Keith mixed up? 

"I quite like a challenge, it's the reason I left the red paladin alive back at the weblum" my eyes widened, he has met Keith? "I like to crush things and yet it seems I miss calculated, blue appears to hold voltron together much more than red" 

"What a load of bull crap" he smirked at me "if you want to beat voltron so bad then let's skip to the part where you give me an escape pod" he chuckled as he snapped his fingers, slaves immediately started coming in with trays of steaming food. 

"Sadly for your teams I now want something more than simply beating voltron" he began to collect the stray papers before pulling a plate of food to him and cutting into it. 

"And what would that be?" I snapped, irritated by the smell of food right under my nose but I couldn't even eat it. 

"You" he took a small bite of what looked like a blue tinted steak. I wonder if he did that on propose. 

"Why?!" I'm seriously at my wits end. "Sure I'm good looking but I'm the weakest and most annoying paladin. Surly someone like Keith or Allura is more your style!" How can this big bad asshole want me? I'm not even that great!

He didn't answer for a few ticks just continued to tear away at the blue meat. "Bring it in" he ordered some unseen servant. 

A ballmaren girl came in with some strange alien cat creature but was about the size a tiger. It looked well cared for, it's coat brushed and paws trimmed. In was a deep brown color with red spots, it had big blue eyes that looked to the ground with an empty look. 

Lotor patted his leg and the creature approached him hesitantly. He scratched under its chin and it looked at him with adoration, in the way only an animal that had been expertly trained could. 

"This is a hynuo, a kind of animal from the planet saava, its name it mora" lotor began, he gently shooed the animal away and it curled up under his chair. "I found him as a cub while hunting" he looked bad to be a large grin taking over his handsome face "you should have heard it's siblings meows and screams as I skinned them alive after killing their mother, it would have been cruel to leave them alive with nothing to protect them, I was doing the things a favor" 

I gaped at him, he was a monster but I was curious to why he would keep one "and what made this one so special?" He gave me a crooked smirk before cutting another chunk of meat "too must be hungry" damn this changing conversation. 

"No finish the story" I growl but sadly my stomach echoed me. 

The cuffs unlocked and he pushed a plate of food at me "eat" he commanded. 

I wasn't in a position to deny him. 

"Tell me of earth" I froze, my mouth so very close to the juicy piece of meat. Quiznack. Putting down the fork and knife and folded my arms and glared. 

"No" he raised an eyebrow at me and chuckles again. 

"Paladin I already know of your planet, I know every military advancement and I know how I could destroy in in ticks, eat" he went back to his blue meat that was starting to look a lot like me, helpless and for the taking. 

"then why did you ask?" I demanded not yet moving. 

"You wish to know my story, I figured it was fair I heard one from you" he shrugged "but if you wish to starve yourself of food and conversation" he began to pull the food away. 

As much as I didn't want to give into his game, I had to keep my strength up for when the others came for me. "Earth is probably the most beautiful place in the universe" I began and he stopped and pushed the food to me again, a content smile on his face as he feed Mora a chick of meat. 

"The green grass is soft and has a smell you can describe, I love everything about it" I took a bug of meat and had to hold in a moan. God damn I missed steak. 

"What is your favorite thing about it?" He looked very interested in my perspective of the world. 

"It's a tie between rain and snow." He looked curious so I explained. 

"Rain is when water falls from the sky in little drops, when ever it rains really heavy my family and I would go out in to and run around like maniacs" I smiled at the memories and I had to wonder if I was going to be able to see Sydneys first rain dance "snow is like rain but it's frozen in soft white flacks, it makes everything really quite and when I was little I use to go out with a blanket and hot coco and sit in it, I swear you can hear the world spin" at the end of my little story I had finished my meal and I glanced at the cat creature hoping he would get my hint. 

"When I had finished killing this ones siblings I was high on the pleasure of hearing there cries, they were pathetic and hilarious" he got up walking around me in a slow circle. Shit I was starting to regret wanting to hear the rest of this. This man was sick. 

"The runt was the only one left, I had reached for it, anticipating it's pathetic whimpers for mercy but" he place his hand on my cheek turning me to look at him, he was close, way too close. 

"It didn't cry, or whimper just glared at me with those deep blue eyes and I was intrigued" he paused "it took me years to train it, too force it too realize who it's master was but now it is my loyal pet" 

"Those blue eyes never left my thoughts, look at me with defiance, and not a little fear, it hated me and it didn't care about letting me know it wasn't going to beg me" he backed up a bit his hand still on my cheek, he looked down at me "as with Mora, I will break you" 

My mild stilled and then my hand moved. I don't know why I did it, maybe because I was being compared to a cat? Or that he believed he could make me into some docile pet but I did it. 

I slapped him. 

___________________

 

I was sitting in front of black. My mind reaching out to him, my new connection with blue couldn't stop with her. If I wanted to be as good at lance thought I was I needed to understand all the lions, not just mine. 

Black was worried for Shiro and for blue. He had been constantly consulting her, apparently she was the most compassionate of the lions and feel in love easily, pretty much a female metal space cat version of lance. 

The other lions were suffering from her pain and they needed us all to be strong for them. 

He will need you too be understanding of anything that had happened to him. 

The black lion told me in my head. He has no control over what evil does, please understand and accept it. I nodded again 

"I promise he will only find love when he gets back" I knew we weren't only talking about lance. 

I had talked with all the lions now. Yellow needed someone to keep hunk out of his head, apparently his mental state had been declining since lance had been taken. That was understandable. Green wanted me to make sure Pidge actually slept and didn't begin to doubt herself. Red wanted to stop working so much, to take a break and sleep. 

I didn't really know how to do any of this. How do I help hunk and Pidge? How do I help myself? 

Normally about the time I started to tired lance would come into the training room and annoy me until training no longer held any appeal. Maybe lance was doing similar things for hunk and Pidge? 

We were all falling apart without him. 

I knew I was only ever useless

Punching the wall, blue whimpered in my head asking me if I was okay. I soothed her, telling her I was fine. 

Blue was pretty needy but she was upset so I went along with it. She even had me sleeping in her hanger lately. 

"Keith get up to the control room!" Allura suddenly shouted from the intercoms. 

Running to the control room everyone was already there. 

"There is a message coming through from the Golra!" Allura seemed relived, we all knew it was possible lance was dead, more so since blues freak out. We could knew for sure after this. 

"Play it" I told her. Everyone's undivided attention was on the screen. 

A half Golra was the first thing we saw, the tick he began to talk I recognized that voice 

I'll be taking the blue paladin. 

Clenching my fists I listened to his message. 

"Paladins of voltron, it has come to my attention that a trader has given you information on where to find my newest pet" 

Pet

My eye twitched but I kept listening. "I will not allow this to happen, and to show you how pointless it is for you to even try I shall show you why you should give up" 

The camera panned out to a bloody figure hanging unconscious from the ceiling. His hands were chained so that he hung free, his bare toes barely touching the floor. His body was exposed, only wherein a black skirt. 

"Lance!" Everyone gasped at the sight. 

The Golra walked over to lance and slapped his face. I growled deep in my throat. He whispered something as lances eyes blinked open. 

He's alive

"Go on pretty" he held lance's head in his palm by his chin and turned him to look at the screen. Tears rolled down his face. 

"St-stop looking for me" he whispered to the screen tears uncontrollable making his blue eyes look bigger. "I want to be here" the Golra grinned at us before the transmission went dead. 

Blue cried out in my head, Pidge was crying holding a sobbing hunk, Allura looked sick and coran looked ready to kill someone. I felt fury. He hurt lance, he made lance cry. I had never seen lance cry, I never wanted too. 

"I'm gonna kill him" no one denied me that. 

 

___________________

 

We stared at each other for decapheebs it seems. My hand was still up in the air and my eyes were wide. 

His thin lips curved into a sinister shake like smile. "Aw I haven't felt the claws of an untrained kitten in a long time" he grabbed my arm, crushing it in his grip, I can almost hear my bones grind. 

"What am I grounded now?" He began to drag me out of the room, panic bubbling in my chest but a carefree smirk sliding into my face "no dessert tonight?"

He didn't say anything as he walked through the ship at a pace I could barely keep up with. 

We reached a door like any other and he opened it. We marched forward as he called for a few senterys. 

The cuffs on my wrists were locked together again as he pulled me forward into the center of the room.

He jerked my arms up and over my head. Crying out as he connects the cuffs too a thick metal wire that hung down from the ceiling. 

Backing away he moved to a control podium and the lights snapped on. Nothing was too impressive about this room, just empty space. 

The wire was raised until I had too stand on the tips of my toes in order to support my screaming arms. "Glad those ballet lessons finally became useful" I snickered through the panic. Once I was properly strung up, lotor approached me again. 

Snapping his fingers at a sentry that then moved behind me. 

"My pretty pet" lotor purred in my ear forcing a shiver from me "the only way to stop the pain is to repeat after me" as if on que something struck me. 

I screamed mostly out of shocked then pain. It was like an electric whip just just cracked at me. 

Looking at lotor with wide, scared eyes he supplied me with my lines "stop looking for me, I'm happy here" my eyes bulged and I threw my head back shacking it desperately. He would never get me to say that. 

He suddenly gripped my face in his hands and a starring contested ensued. "Little pet I would hope you realized, this is my dessert" he pecked my lips as I was struck again. 

My skin tore open and burned at the same time. I bucked against the agony and but back my screams. I whimpered though. 

"What couldn't think of anything better, whipping very unimaginative" not my best line but sue me I have blood dripping from my back. 

He smirked at me as he moved back to simply watch. 

By the time a Varga had past and I had lost count of how many time I had been whipped, my vision was blurred and I could barely hear anything. 

Lotor was talking to someone, I couldn't bring myself to care as I filtered of the verge of passing out. He was suddenly in front of me, gently slapping my face so I would wake. 

"Say it pretty or we will have to start this over again" I looked at him with tears in my eyes and whispered as softly as I could "stop lo-" "no pretty loud enough for them" he moved my head for me and I was looking at my family, my team. My heart lurched and I sobbed harder at the thought of them seeing me like this. 

I never wanted them to see me as a karfa

At lotors urging I began "st-stop looking for me" Keith looked ready to kill, I was such a disappointment "I want to be here" the transmission died and I cried harder. 

The cuffs were released and my limp body fell into lotors arms. "Shhh pretty shhh" he whispered petting my hair "it will be okay I will protect you" I wanted to spit at him, to slap him again but I was too exhausted for witty one liners and fighting so I simply past out in lotors arms.


	7. Day three

I gasped as I feel forward, I was caught in two large numbers hands and I had the unmistakable taste of cyropod in my mouth. 

"Lance!" I heard Nyma's sweet voice as she wrapped her arms around me. 

I remembered how I had given in, how he made me say those things to everyone and felt myself begin to cry but instead I slid a carefree smile in my face and told Nyma "sorry I can't help being stupid" 

She looked at me with frustration and worry before wrapping me up in a hug and whispering "you don't have to always be so strong, you don't have to hold everyone up lance"

We sat there for an unimaginable amount of time as I shook and she held me. She didn't say anything, didn't bring attention to my break down, just held me. 

If I had known I would have to deal with things like this I would have been stronger, I would have done something to prepare, anything. 

"How could you have known you'd be captured by a psychopath lance" Nyma soothed, shit I had thought out loud. 

As my shaking slowly eased, Nyma gently pulled me up to stand. 

"I was told too bring you to lotors room lance" softly I nodded my head and indicated her to lead me. 

I was in the skin tight tight suit one would wear in a cryopod. 

"You should just do what he says lance, even if the others come for you it's no good to get yourself beaten until that happens" she told me as she lead me through the halls. 

I wasn't going to stop, I would slap him a thousand times if it meant getting under that assholes skin. 

You already gave in 

Doesn't matter! It doesn't mean I can't fight back now. I won't allow myself to brake down again. 

We came to a large door near the front of the ship. She presented her right cuff to the control pad to the side and the doors slid open. 

Looking around the room, it seemed to be built for wealth but who ever lived here regretted it. The room was large with a Californian king, maybe bigger, sized bed against the wall. Curtain hung around it but the whole thing gave of a futuristic vibe. 

There was a large bay window overlooking the space around. If only I had my armor I could break those windows and escape. There was a bench that could have been a comfortable window seat if someone put paddings down. The floor was cold and hard making the room even less friendly. 

There was a door that probably lead to a shower or bathroom. A small workout area was squished into the corner. What I could guess was an alien television was mounted on the wall but there was nothing to sit in, despite the fact the large area in the center of the room would make a prefect lounge. 

"This is lotors quarters" Nyma told me still holding on to my hand. 

"I know I sound like a broken hologram, but please just don't do anything stupid" she gave my hand a squeeze "there are cloths on the bed, change and just wait here" 

She waved goodbye and I was left alone again, looking around the room and I laughed "I guess I really did get grounded" I didn't want to get Nyma in trouble so I decided to fight anything that had no connection to her and Sora.

Walking over the the bed I found the clothes, they seemed a bit more casual then before. I had a black knitted sweater that had a tank top feel to it with no sleeves but was loose and long enough to be a dress. It hung low showing off my slender muscular arms and color bone. Next was a pair of dark purple leggings made of some odd stretchy material. Once I was dressed I folded up the cryopod suit and laid it where the clothes had been and just stood in the room for a second. 

Looking around I decided to sit by the window. I pushed myself into a corner and pulled my legs up into my chest, the picture of vulnerability, but who cares I was alone now. 

The door opened and I looked over expecting to see lotor and was pleased to see Sora and the balmarian girl. The balmarian was walking in mora as well. 

I smiled at them trying my best not to look down. The balmarian seemed surprised to see me smiling, but didn't question it. 

"Hey Sora, and excuse me. It I don't know your name?" I sized her up, she seemed shy and a gentle smile would go a long way with her. Nothing too out there when trying to cheer her up, easily scared. I filed the information away and waited her her to put a name to her face. 

"Her name is lorina" Sora answered for her "she can't speak her tongue was cut off in a gladiator fight" Sora told me and the girl seemed to cringe. She looked scared now like I was going to reflect her. 

I have her a wider smile and kept all pity from my face "it's okay I'm annoying and can talk enough for both of us" she gave me a soft hesitant smile still not looking at me, good I can still do something right. 

She gestured to Mora and I nodded. She included the animals leash and it lumbered into the room, a broken toy. It kept its distance from me and curled up on the mat in the exercise corner. 

"I brought you some accessories the prince would like you to wear" Sora told me walking over with a black silk bag. Lori a was quick to leave, as her job was done. 

Curious I looked into the bag. There were some flat combat boot like shoes, they were made of soft flimsy material and looked as if they would rip just putting them on. 

Pulling those on first, it was nice not to be bare foot. Next was a band of black fabric that matches my sweater dress that went around one bicep. I slipped that on and moved on to some silver bracelets. They were thick and clipped around half of my forearms and ended with a point on the back of my hands. A small chain connected to a ring that went around my middle finger. It was all topped off with a purple jewel at the center of the back of my hand. 

I hesitated putting them on, they looked like a modified pair of handcuffs. I had been relieved at not having them anymore but it appeared I was just getting a fancier pair. 

Like a pet 

Sighing I looked up at Sora with  pleading eyes. She only gave me a hard look that screamed 'don't get me in trouble'. Huffing I slipped them on, confirming my suspension they locked into place and wouldn't come off. 

The last thing was a thin metal collar. 

Hell no 

Glaring at it, then the ground I throw it in a fit of anger. Sora looked shocked and Mora jumped a foot in the air before looking at me with panic. 

I felt instantly bad for it. 

"I'm not putting that on" I told her and she looked pained for a second. 

"Well it's not like I have the muscles to force you" she sighed as Mora settled again, this time keeping a close eye on me. "Just know lotor is going to force it in you" she began to leave me and breathed "don't be stupid and pick the easy way next time" 

Stop being stupid lance

Why me? 

 

___________________

Pidge was deciding the chip, so what if lotor knows we have it? If we even knew where lance had been that was as good of a starting place as any. 

Blue hadn't talked in a few Vargas and no one had slept since seeing lance like that. 

I want to be here

He was forced to say it. I just know it. Lance wouldn't do that, he loved voltron, he loved blue, he loved me. I would never believe such a lie. 

Thinking of lance all bloody and strung up set my blood boiling and I would have to go to the training deck to smash something. 

Stop looking for me

Never. If lance told me he wanted me to leave him alone, to send him back to earth and find a new blue paladin fine. I would do it. I would leave him alone and deal with it, but only after he was safe. After he didn't have a reason to cry anymore. 

"Pidge how is it coming?" I asked as I wiped sweat from my brow. She looked up at me and smiled. 

"I've got a lock on him" he is on a palace ship in the torbaen system. She pointed to a pink planet "they are docked just outside this planets atmosphere" looking at the writing going across the screen I was able to make out that they had made the mistake of putting a tracer in lance, this chip could tell us his exact location. 

"Great job Pidge" I grinned "let's go kill this guy" everyone was excited at the prospect of getting lance back into the arms of his family. 

"Lotor knows we got his chordates but I don't believe he knows we have the tracing chip key" Pidge told us an evil smile on her face "the blade sure is thorough"

Thank god for the blade.


	8. Day four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is mostly setting up stuff

My stomach growled as I lounged on the bed. It had been forever! My only company was Mora and even he got walks! Grumbling as Mora came back with lorina. 

"Hey" I waved and she jumped a bit but smiled softly and gave me a soft wave.

I hadn't been able to make much progress with her, she only came to feed and walk Mora. 

"How was your day?" I asked and she shrugged as a general answer. Letting Mora off her leach she hesitated as I urged her to approach me. 

"I'm kinda bored would you keep me company?" She looked to the door as if afraid "do you have other things you have to do?" I frowned really needing something to take the edge off the boredom. 

She nodded her head and waved goodbye before taking her leave. 

"Hmmmmmm" I rolled around in the bed for about five ticks before I ended up falling off. Mora looked at me curiously and I stared at him before putting my hand out for him to investigate. 

He seemed generally curious and a touch afraid of me. We had been in the same room for almost a quintent, he had to be as least a little use to my presence by now. 

I made small cooing noises in the back of my throat and rubbed my fingers together. "Come here boy" I murmured softly. 

He carefully investigated me and I made sure to make no sudden movements, I didn't want to force a relationship with him, I wanted to earn his trust. 

He sniffed my fingers and gave an inquisitive lick. "Good boy" I cooed as he backed off and I let him. 

Jumping up, ignoring my rumbling stomach, I moved to my favorite spot by the window. Looking out to the pink planet, I sighed. 

The collar sat over by the exercise area, a reminder of my new status. Karfa. Clenching my fists in frustration, the jiggle of the small chains on my cuffs just another symbol of my capture. 

Mora made a soft sound of comfort from his place. I smiled. 

"Just like me huh?" I turned too him and blue eyes clashed against blue eyes. "Looks like I'm just as trapped as you boy" 

I sat by the window for a few Vargas before the door opened and Nyma walked in with a tray. Jumping up I ran to her, please have food!

I'm disappointed to see it's only a new change of cloths and a glass of water. 

"Right grounded with no dinner" I confirmed and Nyma looked at me curiously before deciding not to ask. 

"I've brought you some water but you aren't allowed any food for another quintent" I sighed and fell on the bed. 

"Damn alien quiznack! Doesn't he know not eating is bad for your skin!" I moaned for a bit, Nyma looking rather unimpressed with me. 

"Come here and drunk lance I only have so long" she demanded me. Walking to her with slumped shoulders, grumbling about getting dry skin, suddenly grabbed my hand and pushed what felt like a granola bar into my grip. 

She looked around cautiously "don't leave one single crumb of that lance" she looked at me dead in the eyes "not one crumb" 

I nodded and took the cloths hiding to bar in them. I grabbed the water and just like that she left. 

"I knew I liked that girl" the clothes were basically the same thing I was already wearing but the sweater tank top was purple and the tights were grey. Changing quickly and making sure the bar stayed out of sight before moving to the window. 

I kept my face turned to the pink planet as I happily munched on the bar. 

"Hey Mora come here!" He was already pretty close at the prospects of food, patting my leg he forgot all fear and climbed into my lap. Feeding him a fourth of the bar, I took the opportunity to pet his thick fur. 

"Your a lot like my kitty from back home" I told him as he curled up his face into my stomach, his lower body under my knees and tail slightly wagging off the seat. "We found her abandoned in a house that got foreclosed on, she was scared of everything at first but with a little love she was the sweetest thing" it was nice talking, just talking. "I had to give her to my sister when I left for the garrison but that's okay, my sister always really liked her" 

Mora looked up at me with big blue eyes before laying her head down and falling asleep with a purr. 

Following her lead, I put my head back and closed my eyes pretending that when I woke Keith and the others would be there to save me, mora, and the others. 

___________________

I just wanted to go. I wanted to fly to where lance was and take him far away. 

We had to plan our attack, we couldn't go in there guns blasting. 

Blue wouldn't shut up about me just hopping in her and flying to where ever he was. 

I can't feel him we need to go

I sighed, I knew she was trying to reach where he was now that she knew but we were too far away. So far in fact that we can't just wormhole there. 

The blade was acting odd too. They told us someone had caught a spy of theirs and couldn't deal with our problems right now. 

Lance was apart of the one thing in the universe that could take down zarkon, he should be their first priority damnit!

"Without voltron this will be difficult, the black lion and I can make an agreement to help each other but blue won't let someone fly her as long as lance is alive" I know Allura was just stating fact but the way she said that made my fists clench. 

"Maybe lance can talk to her and see if she would be willing to have a different pilot this one time?" Hunk put in 

"Who ever does it needs to be in keeping with blues personality" Coran had been a little better since the plan to get lance back began. 

"What is the blue lions personality?" I asked and Pidge backed me up 

"We never did get to hear it" she was curious now. 

"The blue lion is compassionate and confident, she loves easily and can lose heart at the drop of the hat" Allura told us not looking up from her maps "she needs a pilot that has a sting, loving, forgiving personality that has the confidence to back it up" 

"Yep that's lance" hunk nodded "I guess it never occurred to me that blue is also a leg of voltron, she lifts the team as much as me" 

Everyone seemed deep in thought. Over the last four quintents we had realized how much we all had leaned on lance. 

Last night even we had all ended up in the kitchen. Pidge had yawned and told us she was working on some thing and when I told her she should sleep. 

"Now you sound like lan-" she stopped realizing why lance dropped in on her every night, something I didn't even know he was doing. 

Hunk had been baking and I couldn't stop myself from asking "when do you normally stop?" 

"Normally when lance" he stopped eyes going wide as the thought struck him "started to look tired" he finished wonder on his face. we all knew what lance was doing up now. When Allura had walked in, I had to know if her being up was also something to do with lance. 

"Sometimes I have nightmares, I was hoping her something warm to drink and maybe sleep better" it was a curious thing 

"Why something warm?" 

"Well it's what. . . Lance normally brings me" we had all sat in silence for a moment. He took care of all of us and somehow none of us saw it. 

 

"According to the tracker" Allura was the first to break out of thought and resume are meeting. "The Golra parlance ship is just off the planet vao, it's a Golra controlled planet and has been for almost 10,000 years" I nodded that means there is back up on the ground. 

"Okay so what's the plan?"


	9. Day five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry

I woke with a start, it was brighter outside than it should be for when I normally wake. 

Kira and milo would be late for preschool now, my three older siblings would have to buy lunch at school, mom wouldn't have breakfast if it wasn't already made. 

I jumped from my bed quickly putting on a shirt from the floor and a pair of pant from my hamper. Racing to the bathroom I quickly brushed my teeth, and washed my face mask off.

I stopped dead when I reached the kitchen. Terra was making German pancakes. She was humming to herself  as she pulled the pan from the oven. 

The front down opened and Jordan walked in "god how does lance deal with those three every morning? They are impossibly full of energy" she breathed a sigh before noticing me in the doorway. "Hey bro bro" he grinned. 

"Did you guys turn off my alarm?" I asked fixing my unkept hair staring at him matching blue eyes. 

"Hell ya we did" Brayden playfully pushed me as he walked out of the hallway behind me. All three grinned at me. There was that feeling. 

"Why?" My older siblings hugged me and pulled me into the kitchen, sitting me down on the table. 

Terra placed a glass of milk and a piece of pancake in front of me. "You deserve too be taken care of too little brother"

"So" Brayden began stealing the seat his twin was just about to sit into. Jordan grumbled and moved to a different seat. "How's pilot school going?" 

We sat for as long as we could talking about pilot school until mom shooed is out the door for school, a adoring smile on her face. 

We walked to the bus stop where for the first time I caught the early bus to class and wasn't late. 

I blinked my eyes open, smiling at the happy memory. 

I was still tired. 

My eyes slid shut. 

"You are letting your lust blind you!" Someone hissed 

My mom was baking, she must have the day off, it was Sunday. No school, this would be a family day. 

"Grandmother I don't care about taking voltron, I only want him" a deep voice rumbled. 

I hope we go to the beach 

"Don't make the same mistakes as you father!" The voice hissed again "you were doing well"

I want to teach Kira and milo how to surf 

"The difference between him and I grandma" the title was strained as if uncaring for her "I actually get what I want" 

Maybe terra would like to do make overs again, I liked how her dresses looked on me last time. 

"Your father conquered galaxies!" 

I love my family 

"And fell the moment something strong stood in the way!" I heard a door shut and began to fade into full consciousness. 

"Shhh pet" someone soothed and I could almost believe it was my fathers strong hand, I was back home. Safe. 

"Go back to sleep" mora shifted and tensed in my lap. Someone reached out and patted his head. "I have meetings today, just rest. I'll come back for you soon" I snuggled into mora and he relaxed as the person left me. 

I heard some rustling like someone was changing before the door opened and I feel asleep again. 

My wave is coming, I know because the feeling tells me. 

 

___________________

I was back in the dinning hall. Mora had been left with Lorina, and mountains of alien fruits were set before me. 

Lotor sat at the head of the table like last time. He didn't have papers this time just a content smile as he cut into some kind of meat that reminded me of chicken. 

My cuffs were free I can eat freely but all I'm thinking of is jumping across the table,  knife raised and stabbed this man to death. I would run and get Nyma, Sora, and Lorina hopefully Mora would still be with them and we could fly away to the safety of voltron. 

"You aren't eating" lotor rumbled "perhaps someone has been sneaking you food and now you are full" he raised a challenging eyebrow at me. 

Looking down I pulled the chicken like meat to me and began to cut into it. If I did that he would just lock my cuffs together and punish not only me but the other too. 

"You so freely care about others my pet" he mused "it makes you so very easy to control" he chuckled and he too continued to eat. 

Wincing at the truth of the statement. 

"At least I care for others" I bit back and he didn't respond only chuckled more. 

Conversation stopped between us and I'm halfway through my meal. He suddenly put something on the table. 

Starring at the collar, glaring at it. 

"Why so angry pet?" He asked as if it was a justified question. He was gloating. 

I clenched the knife in my hand. I could kill him. He leaned in, begging me to stab him right in the face. 

This isnt my wave

"I'm not going to wear a collar lotor" I growled. No way in hell. 

"Fine" I sat ridged as he called over a sentry and whispered something to him. 

"What do you mean fine?" I demanded him, he was just giving up? 

"I mean if you would like to do this the hard way then who am I to deny you?" He smirked at me and I wanted to slap it off. 

Choose the easy way next time

The cuffed locked together, and the sentry pulled me out of my seat and began marching me back to lotors room. 

I bit my lip, be strong like Shiro, be tough like Allura. I can do this if I'm one of them. I can fight if I be like Keith, I can take anything if I'm like hunk, and I can think my way through any problem if I'm like Pidge. 

I can do this. Stealing myself for whatever he as planned I entered the room. The sentry leads me over to the bed and the cuffs are locked to the top of the bed, not without a fight of course. By the time I'm where the sentry wants me I'm spitting mad. 

Shaking my head back and forth and tugging at the restraints. The bed is soft and envelopes me. 

"It will be okay sweet heart" my mother ran her fingers through my hair "you are very strong" she told me as I told her my worries at not being good enough at the garrison "you can get through anything, and if you can't, we all love you and will understand" 

"Mom" I cried not really knowing what else to do.

Lotor walked into the room and I glared at him. 

"Get out" he told the sentry. 

We were alone. 

Walking up to me slowly, collar in hand. 

"Remember pet you choose this" he moved over me and my skin crawled. I kicked and thrashed but he was easily able to pin me. 

He held out the collar, it loomed before my eyes and I screamed. 

"FUCK YOU!" I beat my head back and forth. When he tried to hold me still, I bit him. He pulled back and looked at me shocked before slowly getting off the bed. 

Then he began to strip his clothing. 

"You really must like forcing my hand" he mused his grin never leaving. 

"I'm not your pet! I'm not your karfa!" I breathed huffing and scared "let me go!" 

My eyes widened when he shed the last piece of clothing he has, leaving him bare. 

he began to move for me again. "You seem to have misunderstood something" h gripped my neck and I withered beneath him "you have no choice in this pet" 

Tearing at my leggings they easily came off even with my struggles. Pulling uselessly at my cuffs, I screamed profanities at him. 

He pulled the sweater dress up my body and over my head until that hung uselessly over my arms. 

Now I had nothing. 

He ran his hand up my flat stomach "humans are so small" he commented. 

"It's not nice to brag" I snapped embarrassed and afraid is not a good combination. 

His hand stopped wondering. Before I could breath a sigh of relief, he slapped me.  

I had been slapped by plenty of girls in my life, even lotor had slapped me before but this time I don't think I would ever forget it. 

His hand lingered in front of my face and I stared blankly at it. He reached for me and gripped my stinging jaw in his hand. His claws dug into my skin and he pulled me forward. 

His lips are on mine, thin and cold, it feels like he is sucking the life out of me. 

The feel of the water

His fingers gripped my length and I bucked, yelping as I again yanked at the cuffs. 

My mother baking cookies

His tongue entered my mouth, it dominated me. Every time I bit at him he tightened his grip on my length so I stopped, letting him assault my mouth. 

"He has a mullet eww" my sister smiled putting braids in my short hair. My smaller sister painting my toenails, getting more skin then nail. 

He moved a hand to my hair and pulled it, I gasped in pain, my neck extending. He licked and sucked at my neck making marks on my tanned skin. 

Hunk and Pidge laughing at something I said, Allura and Shiro just looking annoyed. 

A finger started probing my opening and I cried out in surprise. No no no. Please no. 

My brothers bouncing about playing beach volleyball "come on lancy!" Milo and Kira scream from the side lines. "Ya Lancelot! Come on" Brayden would challenge. I would pick up one of the twins, their squeals of joy echoing in my ears "let's combine!" Kira would happily pull at my hair while milo would attach to my leg, everyone laughing. 

His finger entered me. I tensed, tears running down my face, I winced and cried for him to stop. When did I start doing that?  

He licked up my neck and scraped his fangs against my ear, I shuddered. 

Kieth panting over me, a proud smile on his face "you get great that time lance" my heart would stutter and we would just stare at each other's eyes blue against purple, faces flushed. 

At the first sensation of pleasure I decided this wasn't lotor, it was Keith. I wasn't being forced, this was gentle Keith, loving me. 

I closed my eyes and pretended my first time was Keith. 

"How's my little mullet lover this morning?" My mom quirked a crooked smile, my crooked smile. Immediately I throw a slipper at terra "you told mom?!" She laughed. "He has a mullet! I had too!" 

Yes that right I love him. 

He smiled at the board, he came first in the test again. I'm so happy for him. His smile is beautiful.  

His length pushed against my opening and my eyes flew open. No Keith wouldn't ever hurt me, I can't keep up the illusion. I looked at lotor and he looked at me. 

Tears feel unconditionally down my face, they built in my eyes making it hard to see. 

"Yes exactly what I want" he smiled at me, petting my cheek "those depthless blue eyes filled with tears" he pushed into me slowly "they are beautiful" he breathed his mouth swallowing my screams as he kissed me, rocking his length into me. 

Fuck alien words, this FUCKING hurt. 

It took years but finally he was completely inside me. Reaching over he clipped the collar on me. I didn't fight. 

Gone 

Everything is gone

There is no mother baking, no siblings goofing off, no best friends laughing at my antics, no gentle smile of my crush, no water running throw my finger tip, it was all gone. 

 

"You are mine lance" this was the first time he had used my name and for some reason it felt more like a brand. He began to thrust into me, my screams and moans became background noise as he kisses and suckes at my collar bone.  

His kisses me again, I moan in pain and he bites my lip. I taste blood. 

He started to go faster and I cried harder, weakly pulling at the cuffs, willing it all away. 

Please just kill me. 

With a load roar in my ears he finishes, hot cum released inside me. I whimper and try my best to curl up into myself. 

I want to be dead 

Keith could never love me now, Allura and Shiro wouldn't ever see me the same, Pidge and hunk would look at me with pity, my family wouldn't laugh and joke with me anymore. I wasn't strong. I can't be, I'm not them, I'm just me. 

I can't breath 

My breathing slowly speed up and just as quick as this all began I promptly past out. 

Can I ever love them same now? 

You are strong the water whispered I will always love you.


	10. Day six

I'm sitting at the window seat, there are pillows now, I'm staring blankly at the pink planet.

I want to go home 

I don't care about space anymore. I just want the green grass, the blue sky, the silent snow falls, the rain dances. I want my family. 

Mora is sleeping under my spot, and my knees are pulled up to my chest. 

I made Nyma cry. 

I woke up to sniffling. Nyma is desperately trying to clean me as I slept and she is holding in sobs. The moment she noticing me awake she raised her hand to slap me. 

I didn't flinch and she stalled a foot from my face. "I told you not to be stupid! It's just a quiznacking collar!" She sobbed at me, clinging at my shoulders pulling me into a hug "you didn't have to be raped" she sobbed and I held her. 

I didn't really feel anything at the moment, my body hurt, but my head and heart were numb

Sighing I wrapped my arms around myself. I hate space. 

Lotor came out from the bathroom a towel loosely wrapped around him, I kept my face away. 

He walked up behind me and Mora scurried away. Putting his hands on my face, I tensed, he pulled my head up to meet his in a dominating kiss. I don't fight, what was the point? 

"I won't be around till dinner, I haven meetings to attend, I'll send a sentry for you" he pecked my lips again and I hold myself back from gagging. 

"Okay" I whisper hoarsely. 

"Smile for me pretty" he told me and my face remained blank. He chuckled and murmured something about fixing that as he left me in peace. 

This was my life now it seems 

___________________

I've had my paladin armor on for Vargas now. I could see the ship lance was on, I could almost hear his voice. 

I can't feel him 

Blue told me for the fiftieth time. It was concerning that she couldn't form her connection with him and we were so close we could almost touch but the tracker said he was there. 

He is there but he isn't 

What does that even mean blue? But she doesn't answer, she is surprisingly cryptic. 

When we got closer to the ship we were able to hack into the cameras and I almost wish we hadn't. 

We watched lance be whipped for Vargas, he watched him sit alone and scared. His knees pulled up into his chest more valuable then I had ever seen him. We watched him be raped. 

I was furious and when through all that he still smiled for a balmarian girl, who was too abused to find comfort with others, care for every slave that he interacted with. 

Now that I knew the signs I could easily see the movements of him deciding how to best help someone. 

No one is as kind as him

I had asked Allura what karfa meant when lance had shouted loud enough for us to hear that he wasn't a karfa. 

It means whore 

"But in altean it means soulmate" Allura told me "although it's pronounced differently in Altean, you say Karlya in my tongue" he in none of those things to Lotor. 

"Keith are you ready?" Allura asked breaking me out of my thoughts. we had finished up the briefing for lance's rescue. 

"Hell yes I am" I hope I at least get to punch that asshole. 

"Alright" she grinned "let's get our family back" 

Be careful

I nodded to both blue and Allura. The blade filtered out as they were going to go in first and I followed Pidge down to green, and hunk got in yellow waiting for his que. 

Bring my cub home 

I will. Once we were all in place the blade attacked the ship. It was satisfying to watch the engine blow. 

___________________

Nyma was sitting on the bed watching me, she was suppose to be cleaning the room but I guess me being quite this long was weird so now she was watching me as I watched the planet below. 

"Lance?" she questioned gently "are you doing okay?" I laughed. 

A gut clenched laugh. 

"I don't know honestly" I told her. I didn't look up from the window, I didn't stop stroking Mora, I didn't look at Nyma. 

"Lance look at me" she demanded "lance!" 

The ship lurched, everything lunged to the left. I fell from my seat and Mora ran around the room until she crawled under the bed and hissed. 

"What's happening!?" Nyma grabbed hold of me as the ship slid the other way. Once the ship had settled, Nyma jumped to the window and pressed her face against the glass. 

Her face lit up "they've come to rescue you!" She cried in joy. 

"Good you should get out" I told her coldly "go before your chance is gone" I couldn't go back anymore, I was ruined. 

Suddenly Nyma attacked me, she pushed me to the floor and pinned me. 

"Stop it!" She screamed 

"What!" I cried at her "I can't go back there after this!" I gestured to the collar and all it implied 

"What of it?!" She slammed me into the floor. 

"I can't face them anymore!" Tears welled up into my eyes, damn it I don't want to cry! I've cried enough. "They can't love me after what he made me do!"

Nyma swung her arm back, I expected a slap I've been getting a lot of those but no she punched me square in the face. 

Her shoulders shook and tears fell on my face. 

"YOU ARE STILL LANCE DAMNIT!" I looked into her large aubergine eyes. "You are still charming, kinda annoying lance! You care about everyone and you think way to much about skin care and you are you! Now please can we go? Because if voltron doesn't want you after this then I'll take you! We can find rolo and if you want we will take you back to earth but under no circumstances am I leaving you to that monster!" 

She was sobbing into my chest and I was holding her I'm shaking, barely breathing through my own tears. "Okay?" 

You will always be loved the water whispers 

"Okay" we got up. 

"Alright first things first we need to get the door open" I told her and she nodded. "The ships probably been locked down for anyone but soldiers" running over to the exercise equipment I pulled at a heavy poll attached to the wall. 

"Here I got this" she began prying it off the wall. 

Nodding I turned to the bed and tried to get Mora to come to me. 

Nyma got the poll off the wall with a loud clank and began trying to jimmy it between the door. 

"Mora come here boy" I called but he hissed at me. Those intelligent eyes knew what we were doing, something he had long given up on. 

"Please Mora I don't want to leave you" I reached for him and he slashes at me. He cut into my fingers and backed up into himself more. 

He meows softly and I stared into those big blue broken eyes. He had been tamed by a monster, he couldn't be saved right now. 

"I'm sorry Mora but I don't want to be a pet" he made soft sounds of complaint that almost sounded like him saying don't go just stay it isn't so bad but I couldn't listen. Nyma needed me to be safe. 

"I'll come back for you" I told him as Nyma cracked the door open. Running over to help her we were both able to slip through. 

The hallways were a mess of fighters, it was easy to sneak through. 

"We have to get Sora and lorina" I whispered and she nodded leading me through the maze. anytime a sentry bothered us I took care of it and I wished I had a gun. 

"Take one of there arms so we don't have to break open a door again" I told her and she ripped one off for me. 

Coming to the servant areas we began opening every door we could. Every time someone was inside we simply told them to follow us. 

Freedom wasn't something anyone could pass up. Finally every door was open. Lorina was holding onto Sora like a life line while we swept through the halls, fifteen slaves and a karfa. 

Getting to the escape pods I began to program coordinates. I sent a course for the balmara, it was the only ones I knew that were safe. 

"Nyma go with them I have to get to my friends" she paused and her eyes widened. 

"Hell no! I'm not leaving you!" She tried to pull me into the pod with the others but I pulled back. 

"They won't know I'm safe or where you all are if I don't go find them, they won't stop attaching until they find me" I told her pulling away. 

"Go, I'll be fine. I'll find another paladin and escape then I'll tell them where you guys are headed and I'm sure we will find you too" there was a struggle on her face before she put the metal pole in my hands. 

"Don't you dare do anything stupid lance" she smiled "come find me" she kissed my cheek and with that I waved them off. 

Determined I moved back through the halls. The blast came from the engine so they were probably sneaking on with the green lion from the other side of the ship. 

I ran down the halls, not looking to where I was going just running. A sentry came at me and I swung my pole knocking its blaster from its hands. It lunged at me, trying to restrain me but I fell to my knees and slid knocking out one of its knees with my pole as it past. 

Dropping my pole I grabbed the blaster and turned shooting it in the chest. I blasted off its arm and continued on. 

Anything that moved I blasted. 

As I advance I came up against five sentries. One shot at me but I dodged, other lunged to grab me. Turning quickly I shot two rounds taking out one and shorting off another's arm. 

I was grabbed from behind and I knew it was over l, it clicked on my restraints and my hands were cuffed. One came to take the blaster from me but I knocked it in the face with the cuffs. The one holding me slammed me against the wall and I felt myself going limp. 

Damn a week can really do a number on your muscles. 

A white and red blade was suddenly sticking out from its chest. My eyes widened as the sentry fell and there stood my favorite mullet. 

"Keith" I whispered so many emotions running through me. 

"Get your hands off him!" He yelled utterly destroying the last three robots. 

I fell to the floor on my knees. I wanted to reach out too him but do I even have a right too? 

Keith and I just looked at each other for the longest time before he was suddenly on my level holding me. 

"I'm so glad I found you" he yelled emotions I had never heard from him leaking out of his voice. 

"Don't you ever and I mean ever tell me you love me like that again! You don't get to die, you don't get too be captured!" He sounded like he was crying 

"How am I suppose to not fall apart with you gone? How am I suppose to love you if I think your dead!" Love me? 

"Keith you can't" I told him, there was no way he loved me, and he wouldn't once he knew what happened. 

"The hell I can't!" His lips were against mine, I froze and then melted into him. Unlike lotor, Kieth had big, warm lips. They felt safe, they felt like home. 

The water throw my finger tips, I never had to be afraid in the water

"I love you lance, you hold all of us together" he whispered just simply holding me and I began to cry. It was over, I could go back and pretend all of his never happened. 

"But Keith he" I stoped and sobbing tightening my hold on him "he did things to me" I cried knowing any second he would push me away 

Karfa 

"None of that matters! I don't care, you are still my lance" he pulled me tighter to him still and I breathed him in. 

I could go home. As long as I had Keith. 

The ship lurched again and we realized where we were. 

"Come on I'm bringing you home" Keith got up and spoke into the comm. "I've got lance we are headed back to the green lion!"

"Right!" I heard Pidge, her sweet voice music to my ears. We ran through the halls, Keith never letting go of my hand. I let myself get lost in the moment.

We would get back to the green lion and we would fly out of here, I would be safe. 

I never have to be afraid in the water, the water protects me

Then we turned the corner. 

Shark 

It had only been a few ticks and the green lion was right there it was so close. 

Lotor stood over an injured Pidge. Her shoulder was bleeding and she looked so frustrated. 

The tick we were spotted a sentry shot Keith. 

His right leg. 

He went down and his arm was next. 

"Stop it!" I cried when the sentry moved forward and placed the gun at Keith's head, all the while he was still trying to protect me. 

Lotor pointed his sword at Pidge's chest right above her heart. He grinned at me. 

"You actually thought you could leave me pet?" He pressed his sword down and the armor cracked a bit. Pidge cried out. 

"No! Lotor please no!" He pauses and looked at me. 

"Come here karfa" Keith grabbed my arm, clutched it in his good arm and shook his head at me. 

"No lance" Pidge cried. 

"What do you want Lotor?!" I screamed "just let them go, I'll do anything I swear" I was desperate.  

"Lance!" Keith snapped at me "don't give yourself up! You don't have to protect everyone" 

I smiled at him "it's what I do" 

Lotor clapped and amused smile in his face "I knew this would be good when I planned it" this had been another trap, of course. 

"Lance be a good boy and come" shaking off Keith's hold I moved to stand in front of Lotor. He gripped my chin. 

"I didn't quite expect you to free all my slave though, you always throw a wretch in my plans" he wasn't angry, no he was shit eating happy. Excited even. 

"Just get on with it big ears" I snapped at him. Not my best line I admit but I'm stressed. 

"Hmm" he hummed pushed the sword deeper into Pidge's armor. She coughed up blood. 

"Okay okay in sorry please I'll do anything!" 

"Well there is one thing" he hummed as he held out a silver head band like crown. 

___________________

A gun to my head, a hole in my leg and arm. I was useless at the moment. 

The love of my life stood facing off probably the worst person in the universe and I couldn't do a damn thing. 

Pidge laid helpless on the floor. Allura and coran were In The castle and hunk was fighting with the blade. 

"Well there is one thing" Lotor held out a silver crown to lance and whispered something in his ear. 

Lance's eyes widened and then teared up. I tried to jump forward to help but was hit with the blaster and shoved to the floor. 

"Kieth!" Lance tried to run for me but Lotor held him back. 

"It's either you put this on and I let them leave this one time or I kill them and take you anyway pet" Lotor told him and I growled. 

This could not be happening! My head was pounding. A mix of being hit, rage, and blue screaming in my head. 

Lance looked up at lotor, down to Pidge and finally to me. 

He mouthed something to me 

Balmara? 

He smiled and turned to Lotor "I'll put it on and stay with with you" no 

Please god no. 

"Keith" lance looked at me. A sad smile on his face tears running down his cheeks. "Don't forget-" I was knocked over the head again the world spun and I watched lance's face catching the last words he would say to me. 

Don't forget, come save me


	11. Day seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters!

There is a women baking, she feels comfortable and safe. 

Two young boys are playfully arguing over some colorful paper. 

There is a baby crying, a strong looking man walks through the odd, yet normal scene and lifts the baby in the air. 

"Does little lance not like the fighting?" The man cooed at the baby. He laughed as the baby giggled immediately upon being lifted into the air. 

"Daddy I wanna see him!" A small girl tugged at his leg "he is my first baby brother!" The man smiled down at the girl and brought the baby close for her to see. 

"I'm going to protect him always" she smiled up at her father. Everyone was happy. And then they weren't. 

Dead body's littered the house the small girls neck snapped, the boys chests ripped open, the women's heart torn out, the mans body lifeless. 

Everything jumped about focusing on different images like a tv glitching. Sometimes no one was standing in the house and sometimes a purple man would be there. The man turned slowly the baby in his arms, and then he dropped it. 

I woke with a start. I could remember bits and pieces of the nightmare but not all of it. I took shallow breaths until I calmed down. 

It had been a week since I had been found floating in space. Lotor was my savior, I would have died out there. I don't remember my life before now or even the week I had already spent here. 

Was I just going to keep losing time? Were any memory's I make just going to disappear every week? I hope not. 

Something always felt off, my chest felt empty. I had woken up yesterday so concerned stranger. Lotor had explained to me that I had been on this ship for a week now and I had suddenly past out and didn't remember a thing. They had found me in space and apparently Lotor and I had fallen in love. 

I had no place to argue but something about it all felt off. 

Shrugging my shoulders I crawled out of the bed. Pulling on a pair of black pants and a frilly shirt, that started low in the front and flared out near to back. I wore the metal bracelets that helped me open doors, they were important to a non Golra, giving me freedom. I had a metal choker and a silver headband like crown, apparently it kept my brain from deleting more memory's so I never messed with it. 

Today Lotor needed to pick out new slaves and he wanted me to pick some. 

I didn't like the idea of it all but Lotor assured me that once the war was over they would be compensated and released, but for now it was best to have as many rebels locked up as possible. 

Voltron was the worst of them all. With there lions they had caused great destruction and death to the Golra, who only wished to bring peace and prosperity to all corners of the universe. 

Bouncing back to the bed, I waited. I didn't have to wait long. 

"Well don't you look pretty today" I flushed still shy with Lotor. 

"Thank you" I told him smiling happily. 

"Come now we have a lot to do today" he held out his hand and I gladly took it. 

"Did you sleep well?" He asked me. 

"I had a nightmare, but I think I dreamed of my family" I frowned for some reason feeling as if I missed them. 

"Maybe they didn't love you" he told me, not trying to be mean just putting it out there "maybe that's why it caused a nightmare" 

I nodded, it makes since. I had learned one thing In the small time I could remember on this ship. I was lucky Lotor found something to love about me. 

According to his grandmother haggard, I looked like an altean and that alone was enough to hate me. 

I squeezed his hand and he smiled at me, I believe I love him. How could I not? He saved me, he took can of me, he protected me. I was lucky to have him. 

There is a nagging feeling in my head, some itch that felt like someone trying to talk to me. Every once and awhile I would close my eyes and focus on that feeling. I would see an ocean, water, a red plank of smoothed wood beneath my feet, purple eyes. My head would always sting after that. 

We arrived at the pods that would take us down to the planet. 

"We what is this planet like?" I asked, I can't remember my own planet but I still felt an urge to explore. 

"This is planet doom, it a gladiator planet. Some slaves that got free awhile back were recaptured and brought here so you will have a range of chooses."

I hated the gladiator fights. They seemed cruel and wrong. Lotor says they are a necessary evil. I trust him.

Flying down to the planet, I found myself crawling all over the seats trying to see everything. "Calm down pet" Lotor laughed "I promise I'll show you all of the universe just have patience" I smiled up at him. I didn't have a name, gone with my memory's, so I loved his nicknames for me.

He reached to pat my hair. 

His hand lingered in front of my face. 

I flinched. 

 

He reached for me and gripped my stinging jaw in his hand. His claws dug into my skin and he pulled me forward. 

"Pet are you okay?" Lotor pulled back from me. 

"Y-ya I'm fine I think I just remembered something" I smiled up at him hoping he would continue to pet my hair again. 

He pointed to the seat beside him and I moved to it. 

I felt somber now, what was that? Had I just been afraid of Lotor? 

Looking over my eyes caught in the pilot. That looked fun, I could almost picture flying through space, free. 

A flood gate opened and I couldn't stop picturing flying, I would be able to go anywhere, do anything, say anything. Something nagged at me, the itch was trying to tell me something but for the life of me I couldn't connect with it. 

The jewels on my bracelets and crown seemed to glow and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to get past whatever wall kept me from what ever the itch was saying. 

Your wave is coming 

"Pet are you alright?" Lotor pulled me out of my head suddenly. 

That was weird. Looking around I noticed we had landed. 

"Ya I'm fine" he held out his hand and I took it. 

"Then let's go"

___________________

 

Pidge had to drag my unconscious body onto the green lion, seven ion conon were pointed at the castle. The ship began its decent onto the pink planet for repairs, and we had to retreat. 

Without lance 

I had awoken on the green lion, crying and furious. 

Why is it always him? Why does he have to go through this pain, please let me just take it. 

We had made it back to the castle, hunk and the blade followed and we wormholed away. 

Without lance 

Blue had cried out in my head and all the lions had grieved for her loss. 

He isn't dead 

We had hobbled into the control room tears in our eyes. When I lifted my gaze, my eyes widened. 

Shiro 

He was sitting with his head in his hands. 

"Where the duck have you been?!" I cried, I was so angry. Now he comes back? Now when I've lost the most important thing in the world?

"I don't know" he whispers too everyone "is lance really?" He didn't finish the sentence before I ignored the pain and attacked him. 

"Kieth!" Allura yelled 

He will need you to understand 

Black echoed in my head but I didn't listen. No! He doesn't get to come back after the fact. 

If he hadn't gone missing we wouldn't have lost lance. 

"This is all your fault" it wasn't I knew that but I didn't have anyone to blame. 

Hunk grabbed me from behind and hugged me "no it lotors" he sounded stronger than I've ever heard him. 

"That's right, he tricked us, all of us" Allura started as I calmed, putting her hand on Shiro's shoulder as he got up. "Now we must stop and collect ourselves Kieth and this time outsmart him" 

We have Shiro back. We will get lance too. 

"Where were you" I asked him knowing the answer would haunt me. 

"I don't know" he started "somewhere black sent me" 

With that Pidge and me were moved to the cryopods

I was in the training room, beating the shit out of a robot "Keith" Shiro said from the door way. 

Like so many times before I paused and waited for him to move into my circle. 

"I have a plan" 

___________________

 

I looked for the line of prisoners. 

"Go on pretty pick one" when I had to a purple creature with a missing leg and white hair I paused. For a tick there was recognition in his eyes before he looked to the ground. 

I looked at him curiously. This alien knew me. 

Moving forward I stopped at a creature that must be the same species as me. He was different though. He had short light brown hair and hazel eyes. 

Something about him made me stop, he looked like someone I knew. That was the feeling I got, I could almost remember something while staring at him. 

"Can I pick two?" I asked Lotor. These two were the keys to my past, I just knew it. 

"Of course pet" I pointed first to the purple alien and then to the hazel eyed creature. 

"Those two" I told him "I want them"


	12. The love of a half Golra and human

Twirling in the white outfit at the top of the podium, I grinned. Today would be the greatest day of my life. 

We were floating just outside the atmosphere of a newly conquered planet. 

It was apparently a lot like my home planet in looks, I had been told by Matt. 

I had become good friends with my two attendants. They weren't allow to speak to me about many things but I didn't care I had friends at least. 

"You look beautiful" Matt smiled at me. 

Glasses pushed up a small button nose, a large grin as she rattled on about her newest experiment 

Matt looked like the girl I dreamed of sometimes. Every time he smiled I could almost see her in a flash of green and sisterly love. 

"Ya pretty spiffy" rolo told me in the calming rumble of his voice. 

It had been a month since they joined me and today I would be bonded to Lotor in what was basicly a wedding, something Matt tells me is something lovers do. 

I looked at myself in the mirror. 

I had white silk pants that were tight on my muscled legs. A bit of lace flared out just before my ankles and bare feet, I had a see through lace high low dress with sleeves that were puffy, the ends tucked into my brackets, the top ended at my stomach in front and was a train in the back. A white silk shirt with no sleeves and silver buttons clung to my chest showing off my collar bone and choker. 

I had purple earrings that hung on a silver chain. Two more stuns going up each ear to complaint it. It was all topped off with my crown headband with a purple jewel at the center. 

I had to admit I looked beautiful. My hair curled around my face, and my skin was perfect. 

Blue and white armor, nothing could look as good on me as this. 

I frowned, my blue eyes losing some sparkle. My past kept assaulting me. 

"Rolo did you know me?" I asked him for the millionth time. I know he knows who I was. 

"No you look like someone I use to know" he told me suddenly grumpy. It was the same every time.  

Matt frowned and I knew he also knew where rolo knew me from but both refused to tell me.  

"I just wish" I began twirling hair that felt too long between my fingers "I knew how I got into space, what my home looks like, if I had a family" from what Matt told me of earth it was basically Impossible that I was so far out into space. 

"Who knows" rolo got up "what does it matter anyway, you probably will be stuck here forever" he stopped "I mean you'll be happy here forever" he corrected himself. 

Every once and awhile one of them said something that sounded like I was a captive here but that couldn't be right. Lotor wouldn't lie to me, he saved me. 

The water, a women baking six pairs of blue eyes grinning at me. 

Shaking the feeling away, I could live with the empty feeling as long as I have Lotor. 

"The prince should be finishing up with the address to the people who surrendered, we should get moving" Matt told me. 

I smiled as we left my changing room. Mora was sleeping outside the door, he wasn't allowed in there, he could get fur on the clothes. 

"Hey boy" I smiled at him and pet him, he purred at me with trust and love. 

"I missed you too" Mora made me believe Lotor all the more. The skittish animal trusted me immediately when I woke, like I had already put in the work to get him to trust me. 

Matt stuck his hand out to pet Mora, he tensed a bit not really trusting Matt. Rolo simply nodded at the beast. 

"Let's go!" Im excited to be bonded to Lotor, he was my haven. It didn't feel completely right but I couldn't argue it with no memories. 

Purple eyes, a flushed pink face, a happy grin only I get to see. 

I couldn't see Lotor when I tired to picture the love of my life, I only ever saw. 

Purple eyes "you did great" he would whisper in my dreams "I found you, I love you" he repeated over and over 

I was going to be content here, I could live my life like this. Empty but content. 

Sure I felt like a caged animal sometimes, like Mora, but I loved Lotor I think. 

We flew to the planets surface quietly, I'm buzzing with excitement. 

"Do you think I'll get to look around? If it looks like earth then maybe I'll remember something" Matt shrugged and Rolo gave it some thought. 

"La- hue" he started stumbling as he started to call my another name, I couldn't remember my name, lotor had named me blue hue. After my eyes. "Are you sure it's a good idea to remember? You've got a good set up here." He gestured to me all decked out in finery "maybe you should just let go of your past, focus on keeping yourself safe" 

Float cub, wait for your wave 

We had all grown to care for each other, they loved for me, as I did them. 

"Look at you jumping on the band wagon" I smiled coyly at him "I remember when you yelled at me to fight and remember who I am" that was so long ago it seems, he hadn't been allowed alone with me until he stopped trying to tell me my past. 

It made me suspicious for awhile but Lotor explained that Rolo might know something's that would hurt me. He just wanted to protect me. 

"I just don't see an out here" he grumbled. 

"Well who ever you were hue it doesn't really matter anymore" Matt seemed upset to say it but we all knew it was true. Lotor wouldn't ever let me go, he loved me, he don't let the things you care about go. 

If you want I'll take you back to earth

That itch was so persistent. 

Landing on the planet, Rolo went before me, I walked with Mora by my side, Matt following behind me holding my train for me. 

"Thank you" I told to pilot. He grunted at me. Golra weren't very social, I was very social. The little things I discovered about myself amazed me.

Lotor was waiting for us, he looked handsome dressed like the emperor he was, haggard stood beside him. 

"You look gorgeous pet" he rubbed my cheek lovingly. 

"We will announce our event, then have a small banquet before we begin our binding alright?" I nodded happily. 

___________________

I was sitting below blue. She was bubbling with nervous excitement. 

I get my cub back today

She rumbled again. That right I told her. Today was the day. After a long month everything was in place. 

We won't fail this time. 

She soothed my fears. Walking over to her hanger I opened it. 

No we won't. 

___________________

The banquet was not small, it was large and long, filled with Golra nobility and high up warriors. Gladiators that had earned high rank all walked about. 

Family everywhere, everyone was happy, I had made it in. 

I felt the sting in my head got worse and I got up, trying to find some peace. 

A terrible drink in my hand, small aliens waking about. "I say vol, you say tron" "voltron?" Damn he was cute. 

My head hurt, I found a quite hall and tried to take calming breaths. 

We did it, we are a good team 

Lotor had followed me and I couldn't hold myself back "Lotor" 

I turned to him "please I don't care if it will hurt me, I need to know who I was so I can move on" he frowned, he was angry with me. 

He slapped me, he always hit me when I was been silly. 

"I've given you everything pet" he growled grabbing onto my wrist and pulling me forward into his chest. "And yet you still hold onto these ridicules thoughts" he slapped me again. 

My face lurched to the left and I found myself staring at Mora, his eyes were wide and afraid. They were full of concern for me. 

Just float 

For the first time I noticed how afraid Mora was of Lotor. 

"Pet we are going to be bonded today and you will leave behind any thought of your life before me got it?" He hissed into my ear.

"Alright Lotor" I sighed. I guess I should have listened to Rolo. I have it good here, I'm being stupid. 

"You did great" 

I lost myself for the rest of the banquet in the lover in my head. He was gentle and kind to me, he never hurt me, he would let me go if I asked him. 

I smiled for lotor when the ceremony began, I walked to him, the empty feeling close to unbearable. 

I found you, I love you

Please don't go. 

Remember, Come save me 

I tried to get rid of the people in my head. I said goodbye to the women baking, the six pairs of matching eyes, the strong hands teaching me to shoot. 

Goodbye to the hazel eyed girl, the white haired friend, the strong man with a scar, the yellow friend who seemed to understand me. 

Goodbye to the purple eyes. 

My favorite mullet 

Screams suddenly rang out. Looking out to the city I saw part of the ground open up. Floods of rebels poured out attacking. Balmarians, aliens of every color. 

Looking up I saw space ships, the blade was shorting ever grounded space ship. 

Voltron. For the first time I saw the Voltron lions flying through the sky. 

Freedom, my cub, I'll always love you. 

"Slaves!" Lotors short snapped me out of my thoughts, he was addressing Rolo and Matt "get him back to the ship and to the command center immediately" he pushed me to them. 

They nodded and ran to our small craft. Mora close to my feet, his big body brushing against me. 

Your wave is coming

The ship closed behind us. "Get is out of here" he yelled at the pilot. In no time we were up in the air headed for space. 

The ship jumped, we flew everywhere. We had been hit. 

Stop floating 

Our pilot was out and we began to fall. 

"Lance take the wheel!" It took me a moment to realize Rolo was talking to me "your the only pilot that could save this!" I was a pilot? 

Lance, was that my name?

"Rolo what do you mean? I'm a pilot? Is that my name, you know my name?" My head felt like it was about to explode. 

He tshed at me and took the wheel. Me and Matt held each other as we nose dived. Rolo desperately tried to save us. 

The ship hit the ground and everything went black 

It will be okay

Start paddling 

Stop floating now 

___________________

 

"It will be okay sweet heart" the women ran her fingers through my hair "you are very strong" she told me as I told her my worries at not being good enough at the garrison "you can get through anything, and if you can't, we all love you and will understand"

My eyes were fuzzy.

"He has a mullet eww" a girl smiled putting braids in my short hair. A smaller girl painting my toenails, getting more skin then nail. They both looked like me. 

I groaned looked around Matt and Rolo were on the ground, Mora was on top of me. 

"Okay son just breath" a man rumbled as he fixed my grip on the gun "I know you can do this lance" 

I blinked away the dark spots and sat up. My outfit was ripped and I hand blood in my hair. 

"Come on lancy" 

"Ya come on lancalot"

"You did great lance"

"You deserve to be taken care of too lance" 

I grabbed my head in pain. My headband laid off to the side and I reached for it. 

Make the pain stop. 

Mora jumped up and stood in my way. 

The wave is coming

"Mora I need that!" I yelled reaching for it again, he bit my hand. His big blue eyes stared at me, begging me. 

Please mora I don't want to leave you

"What do you want from me!" I yelled at him "I'm empty, I don't have anything, no memory's, no family. Just let me go back to Lotor!" Mora growled at me and roared. 

you can get through anything, and if you can't, we all love you and will understand

"What if I don't want to remember?" I cried remembering how angry Lotor got. "Maybe I'm better this way"

We all love you

His length pushed against my opening and my eyes flew open

The water through my finger tips. 

Blue eyes against blue eyes. He was begging me to try, I pulled my head back and searched for the itch, the feeling that would never stop assaulting me. 

The water through my finger tips, power beneath my feet. 

I grabbed at it. 

I screamed, everything attacked me. 

My mother baking cookies, my father teaching me to shoot, my siblings playing with me, my team. 

Lotor capturing me. 

Keith 

My cub the water cooed, no something else, something that had never left me. It started to fill the emptiness. 

I stopped and just laid on the ground.

"I'm lance, middle child of seven" I started looking up through the cracks in the skip at the blue sky "in a paladin of Voltron" 

I looked to Rolo, he was just waking, there was guilt in his eyes. "And Lotor captured me" 

"He raped me" 

None of us talked. 

Paddle lance, your wave is almost here

"We have to go" I stood. I kicked the headband and walked to Matt. 

"Can you walk?" I asked them both as Matt came too

They both nodded, I helped them up. 

We had to get to someone that would help us. 

We took in the battle field, Golra were fighting everywhere, lions were in the air flying around taking out ships. 

I could see the castle in the air. The feeling pulled me to it. "Let's go"

___________________

Blue roared from her open hanger and was off in moments. 

I grinned, she had connected with lance again. I felt my connection with her fade slightly. Go get him, I'll cover you. 

My cub is here 

I ran to red and burst out of the hanger after her. 

Time too get my karlya 

___________________

We were running. The four of us, ran through a battle field. None of us had a weapon, but for a moment we were all free. 

I ship landed in front of us and too all of our horror it was Golra. 

Lotor stepped out. 

This crown will erase everything. Earth, voltron, everything. 

He took in the situation, his eyes lingering on my forehead. 

"So you woke up" he sighed as if I was a tantruming child.  

"Run!" I yelled to Rolo and Matt. I began to run as well. 

I was tackled to the side and Rolo and Matt kept running. They didn't notice me fall behind, so focused on getting away. 

"Lance!" Rolo yelled when he noticed. Guards poured out of the ship stopped him from coming back for me. 

It only works if you give into it my pet, you will put this on or I'll kill your friends 

I scratched and clawed at his face but he locked my bracelets, no my shackles. 

"No!" I screamed. 

He pulled my face to his and kissed me "I've missed this feisty side my pet" he chuckled kissing me deeper. 

Mora attacked him. He was tackled off me. I turned and slammed the cuffs against a rock. 

They didn't break and I did it again. Mora was slashing and biting at lotor, crazed. 

He throw mora off him, he helped in pain and I gave my cuffs one last smash and the fell off me. 

The sleeves of the dress flowed around me in the wind. 

Lotor was in my again but this time I could fight back. 

"You will never get free from me!" He yelled gripping my neck as I clawed into his face. 

This is your wave

Something large landed behind me and roared. I yelled in rage, grabbing a bit of cuff and I took aim. 

I slammed it into lotors stomach. 

I stabbed him. 

He looked at me shocked and I looked back equally as shocked. 

"You seen to have misunderstood something" I repeated back to him "you don't have a choice in this" 

I pushed his off me and turned. 

The feeling intensified as I witnessed blue in all her glory. 

"Blue" I whispered stepping forward. Someone grabbed my foot and I turned to see Lotor holding onto me. 

"I will never let you go!" He laughed manic "you will always be mine!" 

Purple eyes

Someone kicked his face and he fell. 

"Lance doesn't belong to anyone!" His hair whipped around his face and he looked like a spirit of vengeance all decked out in his paladin suit. 

Keith remember, come save me

"You came" I cried and felt my knees go weak. He turned to me and his eyes softened. 

I fell into his arms and felt suddenly whole. 

"Of course I did" he whispered. The red lion sat next to blue, I hadn't even noticed as he dispatched the guards attacking Rolo and Matt. 

"Let's go home" I nodded into his chest. He picked me up and we walked away leaving Lotor to bleed out in the dirt. 

Rolo, Mora, and Matt followed us into the red lion. He gently laid me on the floor as he took the controls. 

Follow me blue

Always my cub

This was home. The feeling engulfed me, this is my wave. 

Just like that we fell home.


	13. Epilogue: coming home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in Wattpad originally and it has all my italics and such. I might have to get on my computer and go through and fix this so it has all that

I wanted to stay in red forever, but everyone was waiting. Keith turned to me when we landed in the castle 

"Lance" Keith whispered gently. Matt and Rolo seemed somber but some kind of excitement ran through the air. 

"Were free" Matt whispered looking down at his hands, he was shaking, he looked to Rolo and grinned. "We got away Rolo, we don't have to always be on Gaurd, we don't have to fight everyday, and lance will be safe here" 

"Lance will be safe" Rolo repeated a calming happiness to his voice. 

__________________

I smiled as Rolo and Matt rallied around the idea of lance being safe. Lance didn't realize it but he exuded light, love. He made people want to watch him, he made people want to follow him, protect, and support him. 

Lance was truly an amazing human being. 

"Lance" I repeated, I didn't want to push him but the others were excited to see him, see him safe. "Are you ready to see the others?" I asked him softly. 

He flinched and he was starting to shake. 

"What if they hate me now?" He asked softly "Keith" he looked up at me, tears in his big blue eyes. "I-I .. . . I was gonna marry him" 

I was out of my seat in just a moment, he flinched as if I was going to hit him but I pushed forward and hugged him. 

I wrapped him in my arms as he shook. 

"Lance we have all missed you very much" I whispered to him "please come home" and there we stayed for the better part of an hour. Eventually he wrapped his arms around me too. It was Just lance and I holding each other. 

Rolo and Matt were sitting in the hanger talking quietly, having excused themselves from the lion. 

"I'm ready Kieth" lance whispered in a broken voice, it broke my heart to hear. 

___________________

 

Allura was the first to spot me. She ran to me, nearly knocking us both over in a tackling hug. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" she kept sobbing into my shoulder before she began to pepper my face with kisses. 

"You are so important and I don't know have we ever lived without you" she cried holding me so tightly I couldn't breath. 

"It's okay" I whispered soothing my hands over her back. It only seemed to make her cry more. 

"Where is hunk and Pidge?" Keith asked and I stiffened, maybe they didn't want to see me?

Allura was to busy holding me to be bothered to answer, Coran helped her. "They are just docking now, the Golra ran as soon as they realized there leader was down" 

Coran's voice sounded heavy and emotional. Looking up too see him, afraid I would see disgust and disappointed but I had to see, I witnessed immense relief on his face. 

Allura stepped back from me but kept a hand on my shoulder, it was reassuring. 

"I'm so glad to have you back lance" I gasped, coran had never used my name before. He always called me by the number he assign us when we met. 

"Coran I'm sor-" coran stepped forward and held my head in his hands. 

"Anything that you did, that he made you do lance" he didn't even blink just looked me in the eye "it's not your fault" I held back tears. 

"LANCE!" I was suddenly swept into a bear hug I recognized immediately. 

"Hunk!" I cried out twisting in his arms and pressing myself against the muscled fat of his stomach. A few tears leaked out but I stopped myself from sobbing. 

"Lance don't you ever leave my sight again!" His arms tightened around me "how am I suppose to be any good without you" he pressed his head against my hair and held me. 

They don't hate me, I could almost cry in relief. 

"Hunk" I simply whisper to our right. 

Pidge stood with her head down, her eyes covered by her ratted tangled hair. Her glasses where crooked and her armor looked worse for wear. 

Hunk put me down and I felt a vice around my heart. This is where the happiness ends, Pidge will yell at me. Tell me to leave because she can't stand the sight of me, I couldn't bear it but my exits are blocked. 

Pidge stood in silence for so long I didn't think she would ever speak. Her shoulders were shaking and her fists were clenched. 

She looked up at me and I was taken aback. 

Large heavy tears were rolling down her face, her fisted hands desperately wiping them. 

"Don't you ever call yourself useless again!" She screamed at me. "You are our one and only lance! You are the only thing keeping us all together!" She grabbed me by my ripped dress and shook me. 

"Don't you realize how much we depend on you!" She pushed her head into my shirt and sobbed "you're one of the only big brothers I have left" she sniffled "I can't lose you too" it was barely a whisper. 

She looked up at me and stepped back. "You are the only one that can make us all feel better! You tease, and annoy us to get us to be happier. You make sure I get enough sleep, you make sure I eat, you-" 

Pidge stopped dead as she spotted something behind me. She looked between me and whatever it was and began to cry harder. 

"Yo-you brought my brother back to me?" She didn't waste a tick, she hugged me tightly before running to Matt. 

She punched him in the arm three times before she clung to him. He looked shocked and confused at the embrace before he looked closer and he because even more shocked. 

"Katie?!" He latched on to her to and they fell to the floor engrossed in a whispered conversation between sobs. 

Rolo wasn't there, I briefly wondered where he was. 

Staring wide eyes at the weeping room, lightly side stepping closer to Keith before I noticed someone. 

Turning so fast I might have whiplash later I stared at Shiro. 

He stood awkwardly at the entrance of the control room. 

"Shiro?" I whispered taking one hesitated step before flinging myself at him, knocking us both onto the floor. 

That is when the flood gate opened. I sobbed, deep chest heaving sobs into his chest. I soaked the front of his armor. 

"I'm so sorry shiro!" I cried "I couldn't be strong like you, I couldn't fight him" I screamed "please forgive me, I only wanted to impress you when we found you that day but now you'll hate me because" I heaved a loud dry sob "because I let him rape me" 

I held onto him pleading for him to forgive me, I know I messed up, I know I couldn't do anything right I had just wanted Shiro to be proud of me. 

"Lance" Shiro urged gently, wrapping his arms around me "it's not your fault" he whispered and I sobbed harder "you didn't have a choice, and when you did you saved everyone" he pulled me closer and I hugged him tighter before just going limp, sobbing until I had no more tears to give and yet still dry heaving. 

"Lance I'm so proud of you" 

Keith's hand gripped my shoulder, strong and comforting. Hunk joined in the hug, as did Pidge. Matt pet my hair in a soothing manner. Allura rubbed my back and coran placed a hand on my other shoulder. 

You are safe cub, you are home

"Honey I'm home" I cried feeling the need to input a joke and everyone smiled. 

"Welcome back lance"

___________________

Pidge was cutting my hair. We were in Keith's room and I had showered and charged after leaving a cryopod. I was in my blue lion pjs holding Keith's hand, as Pidge cut my hair and hunk painted my toe nails. 

"Okay so Kira is twins with milo and Brayden is twins with Jordan?" Kieth asked. He had been asking about my family and my early life all night. This was so normal. 

"Right me, Sydney, and terra and the only ones without a twin" I confirmed. 

"Wow your family is huge" Pidge clipped at the long hair. "My family feels so small in comparison" she told me. 

"How is Matt doing?" I asked, kinda for her, but also because Matt was my friend now. 

"He is still in the cryopod, he was exhausted and malnourished, same with Rolo" she seemed just a bit brighter than anytime I had ever seen her. 

"He said our dad is still with the rebels that helped him escape the first time, once he is up we can go get him" she grinned. 

I grinned too, happy for her. I felt a small pang of jealousy that she would have basically her whole family with her. 

"Hey now" her snapped "you are my big brother too, that means you are apart of this family" she stuck out her lip, the way she does when she has set something in stone. "Moms just gonna have to set an extra plate at dinner when we are done saving the universe" 

I smiled "well you are welcome at my house too terra and Kira will be happy to have another sister" it's not like one more table setting would be a problem to our large and inclusive family. "Mom always wanted to adopt anyway" I grinned

"Ya she even fostered me for a long time" hunk put in. I grinned remembering the year hunk had lived with us. 

"Ya I remember you were so freaked out when terra tried to put you in a dress!" I laughed. 

"Samoan boys should never wear dresses lance" hunk deadpanned with a final stroke to the pink nail polish. 

"Your sister tried to put hunk in a dress?" Pidge cackled. 

"Hey careful with the scissors there!" I breathed between giggles. 

"Lance would beg to where them too!" Hunk accused "his dad had to chase him out the door once when he was determined to go to school in this flowery number once!" 

Keith laughed the imagery just too much for him. 

"Hey that was a gorgeous dress!" I snapped my words softened by a happy smile. 

This felt right, I felt whole. 

"So you two met before the garrison? Why was hunk living with you?" Keith asked squeezing my hand. 

"Well he was in a transfer program and we were the only ones that volunteered to take him in" I explained "I found out how strong and smart he was and suggested him he should become my mechanic when I became a pilot" 

"Suggested?!" Hunk basically screamed "you begged me for a whole six mouths until I agreed!" 

"Tomato tamato" I brushed him off stretching my toes "after that we kept in touch and met up at the garrison again" 

"Ya and you didn't even recognize me at first" hunk snipped in with a half hearted glare "you were to busy gushing about all the girls to care about me trying to get your attention" we laughed at the memory. 

Keith and Pidge smiled our cheeks beginning to hurt. 

The door slid open and Shiro stood outside unsure if he should invade. 

"Hey" he waved and I knew it was time. Shiro had been trying to get me alone to talk for the last couple days as we had stayed in this planet to make peace treaty's and all that. 

"Lance could we talk?" He asked. Pidge had long been done cutting my hair so I didn't have an excuse not too. I nodded. 

"Meet me in my room then" he smiled reassuringly. 

Getting up and reluctantly letting go of Keith's hand I grabbed my jacket and caught my reflection in the mirror. 

My eyes seemed a little empty to me, my skin was still prefect, and my hair was the length it had been when I first saw blue. 

It was like a new start. 

Keith placed his hand on my shoulder "I like your hair like this" it was simple and to the point yet held layers of other meanings, just like Kieth. 

"I do too" 

___________________

The door to Shiro's room was open when I walked in and he was sitting on his bed as he started at his metal arm, spaced out. 

"Hey" I said softly not wanting to scare him. 

He looked up at me as the door closed and patted his bed indicating I should sit. 

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I know what he wanted to talk to me about. 

"Lance I know this is going to be hard" he started and I brought my knees up to my chest. I felt the pain I kept hidden begin to warp my mind again. 

"Shiro you don't have to-" 

"Lance no" he cut me off turning me too him "you aren't alone in this" he tried to put his hand on my shoulder but I shifted away. 

"No im not going to unload all this shit on you guys!" I basically screamed "I can handle it"

"Lance" Shiro's eyes hardened "they made me kill people for entertainment" Shiro had never talked about his imprisonment much. 

"They would starve if for days. No food, water or sleep for weeks then force us into a cage with refreshed fighters and make us desperately try to survive" Shiro voice didn't waver, he didn't seem to have any emotion talking about this "and then when we lost limbs they made of fight for the right to get experimented on to be whole again" 

Please stop 

"Believe it or not I understand the scars you carry after something like this" he placed a hand on my knee "I have nightmares too" so he knew about the nightmares I had been having then. Shit. 

"It's just so much Shiro" I told him my voice coming out broken. 

"I've had a long time to think in the void black through me in and I'm still not alright" Shiro pulled me closer "it doesn't get better lance" 

"What?" Wasn't this suppose to be his big 'you'll heal with time' talk. 

"It will haunt you forever and the only thing we can really do is learn to deal with it" he breathed out "and learn to rely on others, on the ones that care" 

"So I'm always going to be like this?" I cried tears in my eyes. I don't want to always feel like this. 

He looked me in the eyes, deep and meaningful "Think about recovering from this like tending a really bad wound. You've got to clean out the rocks, and sand from the fall and disinfect it, it's gonna be painful cleaning it all out and you will probably find that the wound is bigger than you thought, The disinfectant is going to sting and you're probably going to cry that's all right though. Pain is pain and it will be worse before it gets better" and there it was his big speech. 

"I think I need some time" I told him getting up. 

He sighed "alright just remember shutting yourself off isn't going to help anything" he smiled at me "we are all here for you lance, that's all I wanted to say" 

Leaving the room I began to run. I ran outside the castle and kept going not taking in my surroundings. 

When I finally stopped and looking around my eyes widened. 

It was snowing. 

I just stood panting for the longest time before I ran back the castle. I grabbed the comforter from my bed and raced back outside. 

I pasted hunk and he yelled for me but I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to pretend I was in earth, I wanted to hear the world spin again. 

About a hundred feet out I spotted and bundled myself in the blanket. 

I sat for the longest time in silence, just listening to everything around me. 

"Hunk is worried about you" I turned and looked up at Nyma. She and the others had been apart of the rebels that fought for me on this planet. I had been ecstatic to see her after everything settled. 

"He was going to bring this out to you" she gestured to a goblet she was holding in each hand "but I convinced him to let me talk to you" 

She sat beside me and I offered her the blanket. We cuddled against each other. 

Neither of us talked. I looked at the dark liquid and sipped knowing from the smell what it was. Nyma took a questing sip of the hot chocolate andher eyes widened and she gulped at it. I smiled. 

"Thank you for saving Rolo" was the first thing she said to me after almost a Varga in complete silence. 

"You have it wrong" I breathed my breath ghosting out in front of us in the cold "he saved me"

Silence reined again. 

"I use to do this on earth" I began "I would sit out in the snow for hours, just some hot coco and silence. It always made me feel like I wasn't wrong" I started straight a head "like I was worthy of love, I never felt more whole then in the snow or rain" 

"Lance do you know why we all love you?" She asked me watching the distance like me. 

"I have no idea" I was worthless, nothing I ever did was right. I had been abuse and raped and it was all my fault. 

"Because you give a piece of yourself to everyone that needs it, you are the most loving and caring person in the universe. Everything you do in to support those around you" we still hadn't looked at each other "you are just so strong all the time" 

My breath hitched and I curled in on my self. I just hugged my knees, screwing my eyes shut trying not to break down again. 

"We may not be able to take away the pain" she finally looked at me as I looked up from my knees "but if you have to cry, we would like to hold you while you do" 

She smiled softly "no matter the scars, we still care because your still lance" 

For awhile we stayed in silence before she got up wrapping the now empty bits of blanket around me. "That's all I had to say, come in when your ready"

When I couldn't feel my nose and fingers is when I decided to stop watching the snow gently fall and return to the ship. 

It was late and everyone was sleeping. 

Walking slowly to my room I stopped. I didn't want to be alone. 

Standing there for longer than necessary, thinking of honestly nothing I turned and knocked on Keith's door. 

He answered in moments, his hair was messy with sleep and his was only in boxers. 

"Lance?" He asked surprised "are you okay?"

I stepped into his room dropping the wet blanket. "I don't want to be alone" i blushed "can I sleep in your room?" 

"Ya" Keith motioned for the bed and I took comfort that I wasn't afraid he would do anything to me. 

We both laid on the bed, our hands intertwined.  

"Keith" I whispered in the quite darkness. So dark I couldn't see his face. 

"Ya lance?" He asked me

"I'm not okay" 

"I know, but you will be again"

Will I be?

 

___________________

 

I shot up in the bed, startling mora who had gotten use to sleeping at the end of our bed. 

"Sorry buddy" I whispered, thanking god Keith was a heavy sleeper. 

After three months the nightmares still wouldn't stop. I gently got up from the bed. It's probably time to make my rounds and check up to make sure everyone was sleeping right. 

Allura and Shiro's room would have to be my first stop, both of them had trouble sleeping most nights. The kitchen would be next, I may be back but that didn't mean hunk wasn't still an anxious mess. Then too Pidge, who couldn't break her habit of working late at night. Lucky Matt had dealt with Pidge his whole life and most nights got her to sleep through the night. 

Rolo and Nyma didn't slept like babies through the night too but I still checked to make sure they slept peacefully. 

Walking to the door I felt Keith grab my arm. I jumped slightly and felt panic grip me but curbed it and turned to see Keith's big purple grey eyes staring at me. 

"Lance it's Shiro's night to do rounds, come back to bed" he told me groggy from sleep. 

I don't really want to be I nodded and climbed back into bed. Mora curled up at my feet again and purred. 

Keith grumbled and hugged me close falling back into sleep. I couldn't help but join him. 

 

___________________

 

The first thing I became aware of upon waking was that lance wasn't next too me. 

The second was the pitter patter of what sounded like rain. Clumsily getting out of lance and I's bed I made my way too the control deck. 

Allura and coran were bent over some controls and it seemed we had landed in a planet. 

"We need to land to make some repairs" Allura told me when I asked why we were on a planet. 

"Oh okay" I turned to leave but stopped "have you guys seen lance?" I asked. None of us had stopped being paranoid that Lotor would come for lance. That he would be taken from us again, so the immediate concern was expected. 

"No I haven't he wasn't in bed with you?" Coran asked, our relationship common knowledge at this point. I shook my head and we threw began searching through the castle together. 

We picked up Pidge, and Shiro at some point. 

"Where could he be?" Pidge asked slightly panicked. 

Hunk came out of the kitchen as we approached and we asked him as well. 

"Is it raining?" He answered our question with his own. 

"Yes this planet rains most days out of its cycle" Allura answered sounding slightly frustrated at his lack of concern. 

"Follow me then" hunk chuckled. 

Hunk lead of out of the ship to the sight of lance running through the rain. He had his arms out as he spun around, falling, laughing and jumping everywhere. 

Rolo, Nyma and Matt were with him. He was trying to get them to come out into the rain as he laughed with glee. 

His eyes connected with mine and I couldn't help gasping at how beautiful he looked in this moment. 

A slow smile stretching across his face, hair slick against his head, eyes wide and excited, his body silhouetted against the break of dawn. 

He waves of over and we walked as far as we could under the castle without stepping out into the rain. 

"What are you doing?" Shiro was the first to ask. 

"Rain dancing!" Lance shouted with glee doing a kart wheel and slipping only to laugh more "come on!" He laughed running out further. 

We all turned to hunk "it's a McClain family tradition" he shrugged and began to take off his jacket. "Whenever it rained his whole family would go out into the rain and just run about" he smiled before stepping out into the rain and joining lance. 

This was something special to lance. I felt blue urge me forward through our small connection. 

"Come on guys" everyone looked at me with disbelief and I followed hunks example and stepped out into the rain "lance does a lot for us" I stated simply before running and crashing into lance when I slipped. 

Lance laughed joyfully and it was contagious. 

Everyone exchanged looks before everyone smiled and one by one stepped out into the rain. 

Everyone danced and crashed into each other. We fell over and laughed. 

Lance ripped up long grass and began to throw it at everyone else. 

Everyone began partaking in the grass battle, ending in everyone against lance. 

Turning to me he yelped "baby save me!" Grinning I took two hand fills of grass and shoved one down his shirt and one into his hair. 

He poured at me and put his hands to his chest "heartbreak!" He giggled and I couldn't remember the last time he looked so at ease and happy. 

I couldn't help myself from wrapping my arm around his waist and pulling him into a kiss. 

"marry me?" I asked him barely a whisper into his ear. We stood with the rumble of rain fall, and the laughter of our family all around us. 

He grabbed me by my shirt and kissed me back. 

"You bet your ass I will" 

In the end we all ended up laying on the grassy hill watching the sky pour. 

Nothing could beat the warmth of lances hand in mine. 

___________________

After a year in space the earth felt odd against my feet. This was home but so was space now. 

Pidge's dad had decided he wanted to go home, and I knew this was my only chance to see my family until the universe no longer needed us. 

"You ready?" I turned to my fiancé and nodded. 

"I'm ready"

Walking to the door I hesitated do I knock? Taking a deep breath I opened the door and walked into the familiar home. 

I grew up in this house, this was where my family was, this was home. 

I walked into the kitchen and my mom stood with her back to me stirring some kind of soup. It smelled like her chicken soup, like home.

"Mom" she turned in the blink of an eye and gasped. She dropped the ladle and stepped over it. 

"Lance?" Her voice cracked and her eyes watered "are you really my baby?"  

We held each other. She didn't ask me where I was, why I left with out telling her, or why I had been gone so long. She simply asked me "are you hungry?" 

"Yeah" I nodded happily a few tears leaking out. Keith stood back and just waited for me. 

"Lance?" I turned to see my sister terra, her eyes were wide and she came at me quickly and punched me in the arm. 

"Where the fuck have you been?! Do you know how scared we have all been?!" She was crying and I grinned at her. 

"I'm sorry sissy" 

"Who is that lance?" My mother asked finally taking in Keith. 

I stepped over to Keith and intertwined our fingers. 

"Mom, terra this is Kieth" I smiled over to him "we are getting married" 

"Oh my god" terra suddenly shouted "it's the mullet!" She basically screamed fan-girling. 

My mother smirked and clapped her hands together. "I'm calling everyone home, we need to celebrate" 

___________________

 

I had asked to go pick up milo and Kira while terra got Sydney, I couldn't wait to see them. 

They were in second grade now. 

Mother had called the school and authorized me to check them out and I walked to there class. 

Stepping in, Kieth waiting with my mother back home (too have a serious talk apparently), I instantly found them. 

The teacher glared and gave me a look that said 'you have to wait at the office for them' but how could I wait?

"MYlyLo!" I called out to milo "KiRAwrrr" I called to Kira. Both of them turned and there eyes light up. 

"Big brother!" They called in unison, I bent down to take them into my arms. Suddenly the teacher was all gushy, believing this to be one of those military coming home things, which it kinda was. 

They cried and held onto me. 

"I missed you two" I held them tightly before standing up taking both of there weight. 

"Big brother got strong!" Yelled milo excitedly grinning. Kira just squeezed in glee. 

I nodded to the teacher and walked out. I chatted easily with them, holding there hands as we strolled home. 

Brayden and jorden were home by the time I came up the driveway, both of them waiting on the porch step. 

They both ran at me tackling me to the ground. They yelled questions and we wrestled as I apologized for being away so long. 

We ended up just hugging in a pile. Once we finally all got inside I stopped at the sight of my dad and Keith talking quietly. 

He shook Keith's hand before turning to see me. 

"Dad I can explain" I panicked as he slowly walked towards me. 

I'm surprised when I'm pulled into a hug, my dad had never been very touchy feely. 

"I don't care" he whispered "I'm just glad you're safe son" I clutched my fathers leather jacket and breathed in the scent. 

"I think you have one more person to greet son" my mother chimed in as she pointed to a small child hiding partially behind a wall. 

Large blue eyes stared at me in wonder and fear. 

Sydney was shy, I never would have guessed she would be. 

Getting down on my knees I whispered "hey Sydney" I smiled gently for her as she came out from behind the wall. "You may not remember but me and you are best friends" 

She was about five now and was adorable with brown chestnut hair styled a lot like Pidge's hair. She tilted her head before her eyes lit of and she ran to me. 

"Lancey!" I grinned as she began chanting my name, the first word I had ever heard her say. 

"You remember me!" I pulled her into a tight hug. 

Everything here filled me with love. Picking Sydney up in my arms I brought her over to Keith.   
"Now Sydney this here is big brothers future husband say hi" 

She pouted and glared at Keith "lancey is mine!" She yelled and stuck her tongue out. 

This prompted Kira and milo to start shouting "no mine!" 

Everyone laughed. 

Dinner was a happy affair as Kieth and I told our story. I even showed them blue. We laughed and caught up and everyone seemed upset that I would have to leave again but they accepted it. 

"Just don't wait a year to visit again!" Terra punched my shoulder. 

Everything was okay again. 

Looking up into Keith's purple eyes I knew I was home. 

Keith was my home.


End file.
